Saturday, April 26, 2014
My body resounds
I enjoy difficult things.
If it presses back as I press forward? Then I have come to understand this as good, as a lesson and proof that living is truly worth real human effort.
I enjoy problem solving.
Not so much math, but otherwise elegant, graceful means of finding some sort of solution to some sort of conundrum. This happens all the time and every day in my very plain, waking moments and could be so simple of a thing as braking to let the car in front of me change lanes (which I always do and which always feels so fine).
Also, not adding my voice to ongoing social dramas makes a real difference. These dramas happen frequently in my life and it's very challenging to simply observe and not interject my own angle. This could also be seen as problem solving of a sort.
I take care of my tools.
My daily work is the most mundane of any daily work ever imagined but I nonetheless obsess on my tools, my gear, the process, how I can make any and every moment of that very real and very physical labor that much more efficient.
I've found this makes a real difference, this knack towards self observation, minding myself and holding myself accountable. If I cannot observe, love and challenge myself? Then how in the world can I contribute such things to some other? God forbid I should marry some poor woman before first resolving these things! Or, hopefully if I did, she would be toothy and wise and allowing.
I have developed an affinity for pain.
My mind is a muscle and, other than abs, is the most difficult for me to train. Learning to really use my mind, hurts like fucking hell. Should I light upon some new idea? Should I have an epiphany that I want to perfect? Then here come a hundred other intrusions to push me away from it. The League of Rejects(tm) is what I call this ugly influence, the tendency of one's own mind to always try and undo anything and everything that the mind is positively set upon achieving. "Everyone hates the prettiest in the room" is how the saying goes .. and it's true. If I'm to turn inward and utilize mind? If I'm to make a real example of myself? Then the naysayers incapable of the same, will always be there to hate. My task is to ignore them, which is paramount to impossibility. But I toil on, still...
My mind is my greatest ally.
"There are spooks up in our minds, all of us; do not let them push you around!" --anonymous
My mind is greater than my body but strangely, more fragile. It requires such concentration to develop that, at times, I want to simply be body. But that would be disingenous and foolish and fatal, too.
My body resounds like a coil.
My body is old. It grows so by the minute, (as do all of ours) .. it carries with it the memories of such triumphs, such tragedies and such traumas! It harbors so much earthly love and learning that at times it blinds me to think back on all of it. Full of potential, danger, history and quiet strength. My body thrums. It's almost vibratory or cyclical this physical thing I'm trying to get at, it's fundamental and I reckon can only be felt with a certain sort of balance in one's days: the right amount of sleep is important; the right amount and proper types of food, sex, play and otherwise recreation. Careful attention to the needs of the mind (as the mind should always rule the body). Physical training, be it lifting, dancing, running, fencing, wrestling or even surfing, for that matter...
Because the body, like any other animal that we would deem to control, should be trained. And it should always be ruled by the mind: economy of movement, grace, a humble dispostion and introspection. Emotional accountability. And, at all costs, introspection.
My body resounds.
this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.