Daily blog of general status of circumstances made public in more detail at my personal website and domain: WWW.jbhFILE.COM.
Subjects and daily events are discussed quite casually here and nothing stated in this blog should be considered matter of fact. For the details of the circumstances that this blog further discusses, please see my main site, at WWW.jbhFILE.COM
This being a specific reference to my Dad always saying lets get the family together, which is loading the dice, actually, ... my preference? A proper clinical diagnosis. Fact. The guy is building a team of programmmed family members .... but I will move it elsewhere, when that "team" is moot ... if necessary...
You are seeking to build a team of individuals who have agreed to share the same opinion; I mean, let's get the family together and all that total nonsense.
Facts matter—not family, not opinion. And I know I'll be able to help you in court, if necessary, to fully educate you (which is guaranteed considering the audio/video data I have collected).
You cannot go around making claims to law enforcement (HDP Mental Health) that I have been clinically diagnosed with schizophrenia when no such thing has occurred; do you realize the damage that does?.
For the 100th time, DAD ... I HAVE NEVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PSYCHIATRIST!!! Rucellii for sure, but he was never capable of diagnosing anyone.
How you can't see that is beyond me. And you should know by now this is my life's mission. You only have a little time left (me either), but I will educate you for as long as possible.
You claim I seem to hate you, but I don't; I love you. But you are a violent man; reactionary, violence-prone, rage-disordered. You are in real need of direction and (too late) psychological assistance (if possible at your age).
I've published the truth of your REAL nature.
Oddly, you would find that offensive.
I'm not showing a lack of love for you; to the contrary ... I'm SHOWING LOVE by revealing the fundamental nature of a man I have to live with.
You're dangerous, past a certain point, and I am protecting myself.
joel
My later email response, informing DAD of the consequences when making false 911 calls...
The most telling thing I took from yesterday's uncomfortable process is the swiftness. Once triggered into the Jekyll/Hyde rage "thing" mode, he immediately begins screaming about "I'M CALLING THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!! "
And the entire point here is to show that such a devolution into sheer irrationality, so fast! Threatening to request police intervention when I was just calmly informing him he was being served a certified cease and desist letter.
I mean, every time I listen to the recording, I'm just unable to understand where that "pavlovian" type knee-jerk response is always where he takes things. "I'M CALLING THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!!!" (listen to the previous post recording).
Anyway, in his best interest, I felt compelled, once more, to attempt to explain to him the basics of the law regarding frivolous 911/PD interventions when there is absolutely no crisis, emergency, threat, or other domestic event that would warrant the use of such valuable resources (our HPD).
Here is a copy of the email I later sent to him, after I figured he'd transformed back into his normal self, explaining how unwise it is to make frivolous 911 calls.
My later email tactfully discussing the dangers of making unwarranted 911 ccalls come with consequences.
It's also important to post here as it exemplifies my CONSTANT attempt to do things ecumenically or, in a way that solves the problem with all parties benefitting as this is how I've approached the genuine problem for almost 20 years now, respect, transparency, frankness, honesty, etc.:
"Hi there,
I'd like you to please receive this as a dialogue based on my genuine desire to improve our relationship, to address things properly, factually, respectfully, and most of all, out of love. I believe I have done (and documented) this quite adequately.
Regarding my simple delivery of a letter and your (expected) rage episode that exploded immediately after; above all, I'm just dumbfounded as to why you would not want to work through these things like ordinary folk: dialogue, discussion, and points being allowed to be made without being screamed over.
This is where you should pay close attention...
The point is that had you called the police simply because I delivered you a certified, formal letter, it would surely have been classified as a "false 911 call," for which you'd likely be charged, as I was simply and calmly delivering a letter. There was no emergency, threat, or crisis—just me delivering you a letter.
Hence, of course there was no need for the police, and I promise they would have spent more time with you than with me.
Why you knee-jerk into this "I'm CALLING THE POLICE!" response? It is entirely irrational and will get you into trouble if you call without any merit; just a friendly tip. But what, in all honesty, is that about? When you just suddenly transform into a rage-filled 12 year old (ed: could have approached that better) and thinking you need to call the cops? That's dangerous for you and others as well...
However, you need to know that making random, warrantless calls for police intervention in a truly non-emergency circumstance, generally results in the caller (you) suffering consequences, jail time or charges.
There are some things to consider before calling the Police when there is no legitimate reason to do so (like today when I simply delivered you a letter).
So think about things: wait for that rage demon to calm and before reverting into the rage state that I was fully expecting today wherein your consistent (and totally unwise) reaction is “I’M CALLING THE POLICE!!” and “YOUR CRAZY” … which today anyway, would have gone much worse for you than me.
All the responsive police would have to do is listen to the 4 minute recording I made and have already published and they would immediately understand, just via listening to our exchange (if you can call it that) that you've certainly got some demonstrable emotional/rage issues.
Had you called the police? You'd have likely been charged with a "false 911 call."
FYI.
Some good reading material if you can muster the strength to actually read:
From a legal site: "a person can face legal trouble if they call the police to intervene in a situation where there is no demonstrable reason for doing so, as this is often considered a "false 911 call" and can be classified as a crime depending on the jurisdiction and the intent behind the call; potential consequences include fines and even jail time.
Key points to remember:
If you call the police with the genuine belief that an emergency exists, even if it turns out to be a misunderstanding, you are less likely to face legal repercussions compared to making a call with malicious intent to harass someone.
Specific laws regarding false 911 calls can differ by state or municipality, so it's important to understand the regulations in your area.
Potential consequences of a false call:
Fines: You may be required to pay a fine for the unnecessary police response. Civil liability: In some cases, the person you falsely reported could sue you for damages. Criminal charges: Depending on the circumstances and your intent, you could face criminal charges for filing a false police report."
Interesting information but it's certainly worth considering, especially if a peson finds his/herself suddenly engraged and callin for police intervention when there is no situation or crisis. I figured you would know that.
With love,
Joel"
I did not have to inform him with that email.
Still, I felt it was yet another opportunity to tactfully educate the man that he would be getting himself into trouble if making warrantless requests for police intervention as, unbelievably, he did yesterday, simply due to being so offended that I would DARE present HIM with a civil request that (in the end) he simply cannot ignore; brushing these meaningful conversations off, even ridiculing me as my desire for dialogue is just more proof of my mental disorder is his "modus operandi" ... "your crazy" ... "go away!" ... "I don't have to read shit!" ... "don't you ever say anything about ME EVER!" etc. (see recording where he repeatedly, once completely gone full infantile, says, "See! Your paranoia is going to be the end of you!" lol ... there's that word again, "paranoia" ... a useful response mechanism, I believe but certainly not a factor here.
When the lovely irony is that there was not a shred of paranoia on my part in deciding to serve the letter, just a genuine desire to look at the remainder of my life and identify false/unlawful claims that will affect the rest of my days here unless I force things into a venue where he will have no choice but to listen.
Empowerment is a thing...
In other words, for once, he was in a position where he could not just talk over me and that, if necessary, if his constant propagation of this schizo myth continued, it would indeed then proceed into a proper civil suit/court-dictated scenario which I am well prepared for.
I would rather avoid that, but I am fully prepared and "tooled-up" to take on if necessary (that's what's known as a "Cease and desist order", which is a genuine legal document that does move matters of conflict into a litigation environment.
The Cease and desist letter I served yesterday is only a civic (but bindingly legal) request, a letter that a certain, highly damaging behavior cease immediately.
"I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO ANYBODY!" ... "I DON'T HAVE TO READ THAT LETTER" ... "KNOWBODY SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT *ME*!, YOU GET THAT!" ... and especially, the complete insanity of him claiming over and over during his psychotic break that "I DIDN'T TELL A SINGLE LIE THAT DAY DURING THE WELLFARE CHECK!@!!" ... which, ashamedly, I am pretty happy to have recorded as he did lie, in a hugely proveable way that day back in 2023, but simply cannot understand facts and thinks what he claimed (my having been (ever!) officially and professionally, being diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. But as I say over and over and over ... I truly believe he is not at fault but is, sadly, just incapable off reasonable discussion if anything at all indicates his self as a part of the problem. This does not negate the very real need for me to pursue the truth of things and make this person (or any other) fully aware of the unlawfulness of making frank, damning claims of any other person being mentally ill, much less, officially diagnosed as such ... an event which has never even remotely occurred in my life.
That is an elementary point that would be effortless to address and reverse in a civil court arena, but it never need come to that if he simply considers the contents of my request seriously.
He will either adjust his behavior according to the demands made therein or continue in the madness of telling people some physician (with the ability to do so) had actually ever diagnosed me with that disorder, or any other mental disorder for that matter (again, so quickly and enjoyably proveable in a legal arena as false/untrue if that worst case scenario unfolds).
Not his fault...
He's obviously not aware that he lied to the MHD field team with whom I had a wonderful dialogue on 12/11/23.
Inwardly, he truly believes his opinion alone is enough to make such claims truthful. Still, he did not begin the dialogue with the lead field officer that day, stating, for instance, "This is just my opinion, but there have been times when Joel has seemed to be a bit paranoid." That would have been perfectly okay by me.
Yet that is altogether different than MATTER OF FACTLY claiming to the attending officer that day that I, indeed, had been OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED WITH PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIA by some treating physician with the ability to make such diagnosis' (AFAIK, only a psychiatrist can do that and only a psychiatrist can then treat said illness via medications).
BTW, a bit of useful trivia?: in general, a true diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, according to online records/journals, generally takes a bare minimum of three months of intensive work with a PSYCHIATRIST, which is undoubtedly no relationship I've ever experienced. I've had no notable relationship with any PSYCHIATRIST EVER, much less a protracted relationship with such a "professional."
Hence, indeed, he lied in a really gross way that day, but no rational dialogue could convince him otherwise.
Hoping for reason...
------------------------------------------------------- This post supplements the facts made public on my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already become aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed there. Please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction to why this blog exists. Or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. And, enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------- jbh.
More on the nature of my work... (you REALLY need to get this)
Joel Harris <leojharris@gmail.com>
Fri, Oct 4, 11:36 AM (11 days ago)
to James
Continuing on some thoughts I tried to convey during our phone call today.
It is super essential for you to find some way to realize/come to terms with the FOLLOWING FACT:
Since I was 12, my chosen disciplines, passions, project concerns, and constant efforts have required isolation.
Solitary work. Alone time. Necessarily so.
It is how I work, and it has always been how I’ve worked. It’s how ALL of us, including my contemporaries and me, have worked over the years. We work alone. We work in our rooms. We are out of reach for great deals of times, project depending … ;-)
You have no way to understand that, I think …
Your generational view of habits and careers is skewed just by coming up in the whole pipe yard—physical labor, no offense, but sort of industrial demographic; you and your fellows have never really spent a life dedicated to considering ideas. That's not bad, but it is precisely what I have done since I was 20.
Your mind simply can’t comprehend that being alone, in silence, working at some significant effort, might be sitting alone in a dark room, taking only piss breaks and the annoying need to eat.
This is a natural and perfectly perfect work environment for some of us.
I mean. You’ve sat and moved rubber and metal things around every day for your entire life; so it’s not a surprise that you’d find a person who’s entire liffe’s effort revolves around being alone, in a perfect project space, dedicated to simply *creating* new things might seem weird or troubling but let this be a public marker (and here too, this is all public)
Get used to it; it’s the way I intend to spend the rest of my adult life. It makes sense …
But for god sake. If I disappear into my room for five days? Just realize that’s totally normal. Call me on my phone or something. It is the nature of my work and has always been. Lordy, I keep wanting to call some of my old co workers just to call and talk to you and to further clarify your misunderstanding.
And for what it’s worth? As I’ve published on my blog of late? I will maintain a mostly inverted sleep schedule from your own for I’ve found it most beneficial. I’ll genererally be sleeping when you are here and awake. My work day generally begins once you have retired for the night. You’ve likely noticed.
It’s the nature of my creative work that I must necessarily be “hermited” …. And I enjoy this actually. And I'd happily argue/go at it intellectually with anybody who might care to take me on in that.
This one I'm torn on because I can't help but fall for the psychologist/reviewer but her comments are so strictly ON POINT that I have to concsiously separate myself from my own internal passions and the stark truth of things ...
This woman, psychologist, and songwriter is very good. Pay her due attention, as she does not flinch or pull punches.
And when it's time to cry? It's time to cry and I think that magnificent and transparent on her part...
------------------------------------------------------- This post supplements the facts made public on my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already become aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed there. Please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction to why this blog exists. Or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. And, enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------- jbh.
The most telling thing I took from yesterday's uncomfortable process is the swiftness. Once triggered into the Jekyll/Hyde rage "thing" mode, he immediately begins screaming about "I'M CALLING THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!! "
And the entire point here is to show that such a devolution into sheer irrationality, so fast! Threatening to request police intervention when I was just calmly informing him he was being served a certified cease and desist letter.
I mean, every time I listen to the recording, I'm just unable to understand where that "pavlovian" type knee-jerk response is always where he takes things. "I'M CALLING THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!!!" (listen to the previous post recording).
Anyway, in his best interest, I felt compelled, once more, to attempt to explain to him the basics of the law regarding frivolous 911/PD interventions when there is absolutely no crisis, emergency, threat, or other domestic event that would warrant the use of such valuable resources (our HPD).
Here is a copy of the email I later sent to him, after I figured he'd transformed back into his normal self, explaining how unwise it is to make frivolous 911 calls.
My later email tactfully discussing the dangers of making unwarranted 911 ccalls come with consequences.
It's also important to post here as it exemplifies my CONSTANT attempt to do things ecumenically or, in a way that solves the problem with all parties benefitting as this is how I've approached the genuine problem for almost 20 years now, respect, transparency, frankness, honesty, etc.:
"Hi there,
I'd like you to please receive this as a dialogue based on my genuine desire to improve our relationship, to address things properly, factually, respectfully, and most of all, out of love. I believe I have done (and documented) this quite adequately.
Regarding my simple delivery of a letter and your (expected) rage episode that exploded immediately after; above all, I'm justdumbfoundedas to why you would not want to work through these things like ordinary folk: dialogue, discussion, and points being allowed to be made without being screamed over.
This is where you should pay close attention...
The point is that had you called the police simply because I delivered you a certified, formal letter, it would surely have been classified as a "false 911 call," for whichyou'd likely be charged, as I was simply and calmly delivering a letter. There was no emergency, threat, or crisis—just me delivering you a letter.
Hence, of course there was no need for the police, and I promise they would have spent more time with you than with me.
Why you knee-jerk into this "I'm CALLING THE POLICE!"response? It is entirely irrational and will get you into trouble if you call without any merit; just a friendly tip. But what, in all honesty, is that about? When you just suddenly transform into a rage-filled 12 year old (ed: could have approached that better) and thinking you need to call the cops? That's dangerous for you and others as well...
However, you need to know that making random, warrantless calls for police intervention in a truly non-emergency circumstance,generally results in the caller (you) suffering consequences, jail time or charges.
There are some things to consider before calling the Police when there is no legitimate reason to do so (like today when I simply delivered you a letter).
So think about things: wait for that rage demon to calm and before reverting into the rage state that I was fully expecting today wherein your consistent (and totally unwise) reaction is “I’M CALLING THE POLICE!!” and “YOUR CRAZY” … which today anyway, would have gone much worse for you than me.
All the responsive police would have to do is listen to the 4 minute recording I made and have already published and they would immediately understand, just via listening to our exchange (if you can call it that) that you've certainly got some demonstrable emotional/rage issues.
Had you called the police? You'd have likely been charged with a "false 911 call."
FYI.
Some good reading material if you can muster the strength to actually read:
From a legal site: "a person can face legal trouble if they call the police to intervene in a situation where there is no demonstrable reason for doing so, as this is often considered a "false 911 call" and can be classified as a crime depending on the jurisdiction and the intent behind the call; potential consequences include fines and even jail time.
Key points to remember:
If you call the police with the genuine belief that an emergency exists, even if it turns out to be a misunderstanding, you are less likely to face legal repercussions compared to making a call with malicious intent to harass someone.
Specific laws regarding false 911 calls can differ by state or municipality, so it's important to understand the regulations in your area.
Potential consequences of a false call:
Fines: You may be required to pay a fine for the unnecessary police response. Civil liability: In some cases, the person you falsely reported could sue you for damages. Criminal charges: Depending on the circumstances and your intent, you could face criminal charges for filing a false police report."
Interesting information but it's certainly worth considering, especially if a peson finds his/herself suddenly engraged and callin for police intervention when there is no situation or crisis. I figured you would know that.
With love,
Joel"
I did not have to inform him with that email.
Still, I felt it was yet another opportunity to tactfully educate the man that he would be getting himself into trouble if making warrantless requests for police intervention as, unbelievably, he did yesterday, simply due to being so offended that I would DARE present HIM with a civil request that (in the end) he simply cannot ignore; brushing these meaningful conversations off, even ridiculing me as my desire for dialogue is just more proof of my mental disorder is his "modus operandi" ... "your crazy" ... "go away!" ... "I don't have to read shit!" ... "don't you ever say anything about ME EVER!" etc. (see recording where he repeatedly, once completely gone full infantile, says, "See! Your paranoia is going to be the end of you!" lol ... there's that word again, "paranoia" ... a useful response mechanism, I believe but certainly not a factor here.
When the lovely irony is that there was not a shred of paranoia on my part in deciding to serve the letter, just a genuine desire to look at the remainder of my life and identify false/unlawful claims that will affect the rest of my days here unless I force things into a venue where he will have no choice but to listen.
Empowerment is a thing...
In other words, for once, he was in a position where he could not just talk over me and that, if necessary, if his constant propagation of this schizo myth continued, it would indeed then proceed into a proper civil suit/court-dictated scenario which I am well prepared for.
I would rather avoid that, but I am fully prepared and "tooled-up" to take on if necessary (that's what's known as a "Cease and desist order", which is a genuine legal document that does move matters of conflict into a litigation environment.
The Cease and desist letter I served yesterday is only a civic (but bindingly legal) request, a letter that a certain, highly damaging behavior cease immediately.
"I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO ANYBODY!" ... "I DON'T HAVE TO READ THAT LETTER" ... "KNOWBODY SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT *ME*!, YOU GET THAT!" ... and especially, the complete insanity of him claiming over and over during his psychotic break that "I DIDN'T TELL A SINGLE LIE THAT DAY DURING THE WELLFARE CHECK!@!!" ... which, ashamedly, I am pretty happy to have recorded as he did lie, in a hugely proveable way that day back in 2023, but simply cannot understand facts and thinks what he claimed (my having been (ever!) officially and professionally, being diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. But as I say over and over and over ... I truly believe he is not at fault but is, sadly, just incapable off reasonable discussion if anything at all indicates his self as a part of the problem. This does not negate the very real need for me to pursue the truth of things and make this person (or any other) fully aware of the unlawfulness of making frank, damning claims of any other person being mentally ill, much less, officially diagnosed as such ... an event which has never even remotely occurred in my life.
That is an elementary point that would be effortless to address and reverse in a civil court arena, but it never need come to that if he simply considers the contents of my request seriously.
He will either adjust his behavior according to the demands made therein or continue in the madness of telling people some physician (with the ability to do so) had actually ever diagnosed me with that disorder, or any other mental disorder for that matter (again, so quickly and enjoyably proveable in a legal arena as false/untrue if that worst case scenario unfolds).
Not his fault...
He's obviously not aware that he lied to the MHD field team with whom I had a wonderful dialogue on 12/11/23.
Inwardly, he truly believes his opinion alone is enough to make such claims truthful. Still, he did not begin the dialogue with the lead field officer that day, stating, for instance, "This is just my opinion, but there have been times when Joel has seemed to be a bit paranoid." That would have been perfectly okay by me.
Yet that is altogether different than MATTER OF FACTLY claiming to the attending officer that day that I, indeed, had been OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED WITH PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIA by some treating physician with the ability to make such diagnosis' (AFAIK, only a psychiatrist can do that and only a psychiatrist can then treat said illness via medications).
BTW, a bit of useful trivia?: in general, a true diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, according to online records/journals, generally takes a bare minimum of three months of intensive work with a PSYCHIATRIST, which is undoubtedly no relationship I've ever experienced. I've had no notable relationship with any PSYCHIATRIST EVER, much less a protracted relationship with such a "professional."
Hence, indeed, he lied in a really gross way that day, but no rational dialogue could convince him otherwise.
Hoping for reason...
------------------------------------------------------- This post supplements the facts made public on my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already become aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed there. Please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction to why this blog exists. Or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. And, enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------- jbh.
After days of deliberation and preparing, and after receiving confirmation from HPD/MHD that all data associated with the 12/11/23 Mental Health Check was indeed officially approved to be delivered to me, today I decided to calmly inform my father of the certified Cease and Desist letter.
Here is a link to said letter which I've posted before:
Dad's reaction is telling and expectedly violent...
His reaction was precisely as expected: an immediate (startingly so) devolution into rage and a 100% inability to have a reasonable discussion; again, please listen to the dialogue linked below at YT (unlisted video BTW).
Everything is in the recording...
Just a quick listen to my desperate, calm attempt to invite DAD to dialogue, immediately, like a switch was thrown, Dad turns into an unrecognizable, rage-dominated, hazardous, and irrrational "thing."
When he transforms, it's literally like watching my grandfather go through Alzheimer's episodes (which tragically my grandpa died from) where the person just instantaneously transforms from one amicable, approachable person to a completely different person, suddenly threatening violence, screaming, and a pervasive inability to have a normal conversation.
It's genuinely scary to see as it happens so instantaneously and is always punctuated by an escalation towards violence. And it's not an unfair estimate that these sorts of exchanges happen every single day. I'm helpless to even have a conversation with the man.
Throughout our exchange today, he was constantly, threateningly getting right up in my face as he screamed more and more psychotically. Considering the episodes of physical abuse over the past few years, by him and on myself, I hold a real fear that at a certain point, this sort of totally uncontrolled emotional transformation could end in him doing greater violence to me (or others) at some point in the future and as his cognitive "episodes" (another blog) obviously continue to escalate.
So when, in the recording which was taking place in the kitchen, as I intended to get water before retiring to my office, he just started straight up telling me to leave and get out of his sight, screaming it even (see recording) all the while getting angrier when I calmly said to him that I'm in a public space in our home and I might want to get some water momentarily so, "No." I tell him I'm not going to "GO TO YOUR ROOM!" as he loves to say. (Like it's 1975 or something and I'm suddenly 12 years old again! Really unsettling to witness).
[CONTENT HERE REMOVED AS I DEEMED UNHELPFUL EDIT: 09/18/24]
But THE REAL POINT IS:
I'm currently residing with that same man whose fundamental nature and actions to certain events that might "trigger" him ... is the same exact personality he held back then when, for instance, he quite literally "caned" me with a 10-foot fiberglass CB antenna when I was 12 cause he found out I had tried smoking weed.
This was the time that the countless, extreme lacerations on the backs of my thighs became kind of hard to miss when in the 6th grade and having to wear those awful short as fuck gym shorts LOL. Needless to say, I had to get creative in making up lies to explain the wounds. And so that is what I did...
The person who can so easily trigger to the point that he systematically "flays" a 12-year-old with a fiberglass antenna simply cause he's angered by his kid having experimented with weed is still in there and probably much worse; I live and work with that very same mind, those very same tendencies daily.
My DAD has never addressed that tendency toward rage/violence, never been called out on it, and never once thought to consider why such an obviously broken personality was even formed in him, considering the utterly loving and brilliant nature of his parents? It confuses me to think on, for sure...
FWIW: I was the only member of my siblings to ever experience that sort of extreme violence at the hands of the man; none of my three siblings EVER experienced anything remotely like that, and the fiberglass antenna caning is only one example among many during that time. Chalk it up to being "the black sheep of the family" during out childhood years, I dunno ... but just psych 101 (most) will also tell you that, "once the black sheep? Always the black sheep." And I've found this to be true..
So THIS is why I bring up those age-old, well-dealt-with, well accepted childhood events. I'm living with the same guy, with the same tendencies, the exact essential nature, and he's never developed emotionally past that basic and abusive tendency towards violence. Same guy. Probably worse now...
I recorded the exchange of course.
One, simply for the record, but most importantly to demonstrate my endless months/years trying to calmly discuss fundamental, legal facts and truths around mental illness that he simply 100% shuts down and refuses to discuss (100%. Every time I approach dialogue around the subject).
Any time I attempt to interject some calm, reasonable comment, it never even makes it out of my mouth. He begins screaming over me, not allowing me to express even the most basic of fundamental ideas, much less a sentence of more than a couple words.
This is highly evident in the recording captured above, and it's a daily thing; this is not an isolated event.
And this is just a mild one with no physical slapping and/or hitting me as has occurred in the past few years (he once threw me in the bathtub and scalded me with hot water, believe it or not, again, at 3am, just barging into my room, turning over my equipment, chairs, emptying the contents of my trash can all over my office floor and then taking a picture as though that mess he just willfully created had anything to do with my previously immaculate workspace (wtf?).
There are countless other things people just don't know about the volatile, increasingly dangerous behaviors of the REAL man, the one who only reveals himself once he is assured (or assumes) a private environment.
"I'M CALLING THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!!"
This is also a very essential point to make as, at the high end of his psychotic break today, as always, with me simply delivering a certified letter, he flies off into another level of rage, screaming, "WHERE'S MY PHONE! I'M GETTING THE POLICE OUT HERE RIGHT NOW AND WE'LL DEAL WITH THIS!!" Which, again, is clinical insanity and a more frightening example of just how uninformed (hence, dangerous) he is as well as a solid indication of pretty glaring cognitive impairment.
The critical fact here is that had he stupidly requested police presence this afternoon because he was angry that I served him a formal, legal demand, it would have indeed been deemed a "false 911 report" as there was no crisis or emergency. Had he done so, he would have likely been charged with that misdemeanor crime but likely not arrested.
The point is that (IMO) he really needs to be informed about law, litigation, civil rules of procedure, culture, and the basics of reason/logic or even simple, rational thought, not that I'm some sort of expert on those fundamental principles, but I certainly live according to them.
I stretch the "law" part a bit. I must, on principle, admit to downloading MP3s or games to demo before purchasing (not frequently, but still a fact). As with any of us, I rationalize these "infractions" (and it's true) by claiming, "But, if it's content I find worthwhile? Then I always immediately buy." And I do...
But in him? It's just not there. I'm pretty sure it's never been there. How that can be is beyond me, as I lead with reason and rational thought, especially compassion and a general tack towards ecumenical solutions in any dialogue I have with any other human, especially if it's a matter of conflict resolution.
Oh, the irony...
But yeah, see the recording; that's how quickly it goes south and how quickly he just thinks he can call the police for any random reason whatsoever, which he can't and which carries consequences if deemed frivolous or unwarranted.
Ugly stuff. But I will persist...
------------------------------------------------------- This post supplements the facts made public on my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already become aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed there. Please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction to why this blog exists. Or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. And, enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------- jbh.
Thankfully, after receiving the much-appreciated reply from HPD/MHD that my last request had been accepted, especially specifying that I would get both the body cam footage and a full transcript of the body cam minutes (dialogue), I've now been allowed to pay for the city's services, which I did yesterday.
They also mentioned something about the call-in and what was initially claimed, but I'm not sure about that.
The body cam data and the written transcript of the body cam interaction minutes are really the only things I want since they include the all-important moment when the lead officer (bless him) clearly claims that my father told him I "had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia."
A Milestone of sorts
This is, at least for me, a two-decade milestone as it's the first time I've been able to capture a real, live and especially law enforcement-related and officially recorded moment clearly proving that my father has been propagating and truly believing this (still) unbelievable view he holds internally that I have *ever* been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, much less any other mental disorder of any kind, because, in point of fact? I have not, and this is easily proveable.
In fact, there is a certain point in the conversation with lead Officer Rodriguez where my father actually leans in and whispers, "Remember Dr. Rucelli?" which is super important, as I think it's central to my father's embedded and delusional notion of my suffering from *any* mental disorder.
Dr. Vincent Rucelli was a psychotherapist/talk therapist I'd worked with since my early teens.
During my times of extreme duress, back in 2000 or so, when I went through some extraordinary workplace politics and eventually very subtle but effective workplace harassment, I would visit Dr. Rucelli to discuss what I was seeing around me at that time.
I believe my father thinks Dr. Rucelli somehow (impossible btw) diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia, which is 100% outside of (the now deceased) Dr. Rucelli's professional abilities.
Dr. Rucelli was a well-respected Ph.D. psychotherapist who worked out Clear Lake City, TX but the bottom line is this man was a *psychoTHERAPIST*! His job was to just talk to his patients and explore active therapeutic exercises to deal with any given "issue" a client might be seeking assistance with.
Dr. Rucelli was (thankfully) not a psychiatrist; he could not issue official diagnosis' of major mental disorders such as paranoid schizophrenia, much less prescribe the obvious medications such a person would require in the way of treatment. He was a "talk therapist."
But in no way could he ever legally present a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, which is the domain of psychiatry, and going even further?
Even though Dr. Rucelli recognized my genuine fear and authentic (and justified) paranoid behaviors at that time (~2000), if he was genuinely concerned? He would have immediately referred me to a qualified psychiatrist if he suspected I might actually or potentially suffer from that particular mental disorder.
Latest from HPD/MHD
This is just more information from HPD/MHD confirming my payment and stating that the data will be provided according to their workload.
And once more, to Officer Rodriguez: You did great work that day, sir; I appreciated every minute of our dialogue. It's fascinating to see training so effortlessly and respectfully employed by a civil servant who retains immense power, allowing them endless opportunities for "less than civil" service.
There was nothing even remotely uncivil about my experience that day which is notable as there were/are endless means of handling things much less honestly/transparently than Officer Rodriguez did so well that day.
So, hats off to HPD for that ...
Despite popular opinion regarding myself and the obvious fact that there will always be a "few bad seeds" in those organizations, I'm nonetheless a huge supporter of law enforcement's presence in our communities.
So, AFAIK, now I only need to wait.
------------------------------------------------------- This post supplements the facts made public on my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already become aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed there. Please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction to why this blog exists. Or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. And, enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------- jbh.
I was expecting it to be a bit more of a fight (time-wise) to get this data, but lo and behold, I got a message from HPD's records division today claiming my request had been accepted and that full body cam data and transcript/minutes data would be provided as soon as I paid the necessary fees.
Of course, I immediately replied, expressing gratitude at the timely response and that I would be paying the fees ASAP.
This is good news.
Thanks to whoever allowed me this tiny bit of return, as it's valuable to me in a strictly internal, personal manner.
I know the process could have been made much more complex, so I'm grateful to those who know who they are; I'm very thankful for this small but significant decision.
Here is the main point of the below-posted image:
"We are releasing call slip and the body worn camera will be released within 120 business days of accepting the charges. Please be advised there is no other responsive information for the remaining categories of the request."
And here is the actual HPD/MHD response:
Plans from here are to simply wait for the data, which, as made clear, could take up to 120 days. This is a life-mission for me at this point so 120 days is like a couple minutes to me.
Once I have the body cam footage, minutes, and call data, I will consider how best to approach publishing and considering the issue (public claims of my being diagnosed with a mental illness).
The Goal
The goal is to find out if there is anything I can or should do regarding the public claim made by my father on 12/11/23, the matter-of-fact claim to a mental health representative of the Houston Police Department that I had been "diagnosed with schizophrenia."
Can I demand a public redaction of the claim? Should I even worry about that? Would it be worth my time/effort to seek such actions? I can't answer any of those questions, so it will be a lengthy process.
I've been at this for 20 years, and I'm 56 years old now. I have no problem spending my remaining years just focusing on this one thing as a lifelong endeavor.
Anyway, my effort is gaining some definite traction as of today, and again, thanks to HPD/MHD (and others) for allowing me the typical civil right to the data.
In the case of this local request? Things seem to be moving normally. This is good...
More later...
------------------------------------------------------- This post supplements the facts made public on my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already become aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed there. Please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction to why this blog exists. Or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. And, enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------- jbh.
There will be a fully uncut (other than respectfully blurring) video of this encounter published to YouTube within a week or so; I have to go back and add subtitles as my office camera doesn't have the best microphone but it's good enough.
But the video neatly shows how, especially on a Sunday afternoon when I'm attending to highly personal matters, DAD expects me to just stop and engage in what amounts to (IMO) totally meaningless dialogue about an event that I know I no longer had any part in (short of providing the media and evidence to DAD and the other property owner).
I will publish a new post when the video is finished and published...
DAD/JOEL NOTE: See audio/video publication I did for this as I will be publishing this entire encounter caught on my office camera to youtube once I have time to edit and add subtitles as the audio is not that great. It won’t be attractive as I’m embarrassingly lacking in clothing but it’s not inappropriate (other than showing I need to get back in the gym lol.
But later DAD comes back to my room a bit later and tried to engage me in further dialogue about the event, of course, just gross dialogue whether I thought the fellow/burglar was Mexican or black or some clearly racist type questioning (though he would frame it differently of course) and I, literally (see the online video) was doing my semi-regular body wash bath in my private space and I politely commented that none of what he was saying was of any concern of mine and that should be the end of the conversation.
This is a perfect example of how I have to lock myself away from him, especially on Sundays which are precious time for me, because even after calmly letting him know I was not interested in discussing the nuances of the burglars race or the event otherwise, he keeps pressing and pressing (and this is just a super mild example of this regular tendency of his; IMO, it's like he's just desperately seeking some sort of mental/emotional stimulation and my being the only "target" for that obvious need is a problem.
And (see video) another thing he often does in reaction to calm requests for no more conversation is going on to say, “Now see, you're all worked up!” And I’m sitting there completely dumbfounded, thinking "how in the world could this man not understand my calm, decent response that I had nothing more to say on the matter?" I mean, I even say, again, calmly, that I had done my job, and that was that, and then politely leave me be as any “normal” person would.
But it’s the length of time he presses and the way he points back to me, half naked as it were, enjoying my “bath” saying, “Now your getting all worked up!” … when, if you watch the video, it’s quite evident I simply tell him I have no more to say on the matter and in no part of the dialogue am I “worked up”; I’m, just trying to get some body cleaning done lol.
I even, jokingly say, “see? I’m even videoing myself bathing even as we speak (or, more appropriately, I trying to escape) how in the world could I be “worked up” about something lmao”.
That is the real “danger” of leaving my office door open and so hence, I generally always slide lock or completely lock it as a means of forcing boundaries (something suggested to me by various council over the past months
Refined and upscaled/printed several more of the burglar photos for DAD and left on his desk, informing him of doing so.
------------------------------------------------------- This post supplements the facts made public on my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already become aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed there. Please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction to why this blog exists. Or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. And, enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------- jbh.
Created new folder in DAD yahoo mail inbox labled “CLIENT STATEMENTS”; informed him that I would archive all ongoing new statements there so that he could easily access any given, recent pricing information he might need
Created large desktop ICON on DAD desk for the “CLIENT STATEMENTS” folder
Spoke wite GP ISD about payment status of two invoices which I confirmed having received check copies for
FRI 09/06/24:
Cat litter/bathroom clean/house vAC
All day on personal legal/creative/political work
SAT 09/07/24:
Cat litter/bathroom clean/house vAC
Certified and mailed official “cease and desist” letter addressed to DAD demanding a cease in his making frivolous, untrue claims about my mental health
Updated personal publishing platform with the info on the newly mailed certified cease and desist letter.
Repainted various areas of personal office space and other areas throughout home where paint damage had occurred
Killed the hornets outside our front door after being stung the third time in a week
Mowed the front yard, blew all sidewalks and driveway,, cleaned and stowed EGO mower
Rest of day spent on personal projects and political work
Moved junk cardboard boxes off the back porch floor where DAD had thrown them and into the garage on some of the spare shelving space in case he intended to use it for something; throwing it on the back porch floor was odd, though.
Ordered new personal wifi camera for install in personal space
SUN 09/08/24:
Cat litter/bathroom clean/house vAC
All day on personal work
Got briefly sucked into a burglary drama that occurred on the previous day at HTIRE/SHOP. Discovered video of intruder, published video of even to youtube, printed multiple still shots of the individual and emailed both DAD and John E (property owner). At that point, I considered myself out of the conversation.
DAD/JOEL NOTE: See audio/video publication I did for this as I will be publishing this entire encounter caught on my office camera to youtube once I have time to edit and add subtitles as the audio is not that great. It won’t be attractive as I’m embarrassingly lacking in clothing but it’s not inappropriate (other than showing I need to get back in the gym lol. But later DAD comes back to my room a bit later and tries to engage me in further dialogue about the event, of course, just gross dialogue whether I thought the fellow/burglar was mexican or black or some clearly racsist type questioning (though he would frame it differently of course) and I, literally (see the online video) was doing my semi regular body wash bath in my private space and I politely commented that none of what he was saying was of any concern of mine and that should be the end of the conversation; This is a perfect example of how I have to lock myself away from him, especially on Sundays which are precious time for me, because even after calmly letting him know I was not interested in discussing the nuances of the burglars race or the event otherwise, he keeps pressing and pressing. And (see video) another thing he often does in reaction to calm requests for no more conversation goes on to say, “Now see your all worked up!” and I’m sitting their dumbfounded thinking how in the world could this man not understand my calm, decent response that I had nothing more to say on the matter and that I had done my job and that was that and then politely leave me be as any “normal” person would. But it’s the length of time he presses and the way he points back to me, half naked as it were, enjoying my “bath” saying, “Now your getting all worked up!” … when, if you watch the video, it’s quite evident I simply tell him I have no more to say on the matter and in no part of the dialogue am I “worked up”; I’m, just trying to get some body cleaning done lol. I even, jokingly say, “see? I’m even videoing myself bathing, how in the world could I be “worked up” about something lmao”. That is the real “danger” of leaving my office door open and so hence, I generally always slide lock or completely lock it as a means of forcing boundaries (something suggested to me by various council over the past months
Refined and upscaled/printed several more of the burglar photos for DAD and left on his desk, informing him of doing so.
MON 09/09/24:
Cat litter/bathroom clean/house vAC
Vac house/dining/kitchen areas
Printed small instructional graphic and taped to DAD office printer explaining how he can make either black and white or color copies as he’s been showing confusion about that for some time.
Inputted waiting quickbooks work/invoices/payments etc.
Sent payment receipt binders to clients
Ordered 90CT tall kitchen garbage bags
Spoke briefly with Sam Cannon about some Quickbooks work and company file hand off this week
Organized remaining company work for inputting tomorrow
Cut back yard, cleaned and stowed Ego mower
------------------------------------------------------- This post supplements the facts made public on my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already become aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed there. Please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction to why this blog exists. Or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. And, enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------- jbh.
This blog is a supplementary text to my main website at: http://www.jbhfile.com.
The purpose of this blog is to form a semi daily dialogue related to personal circumstances as outlined in jbhFILE.com.
have fun.
