A Cult of Molestation

I was "molested" as a kid.

This should not come as a surprise to any of my family members (or anyone else close to me from that period). It's public. It's been public for decades. It has been addressed in countless therapy sessions of old; it is no secret and it has certainly not been left unaddressed in an emotional or psychological or formative sense.

It happened between the ages of 9 and 11. It was non-violent, and occurred over a couple years. That's about it. It involved oral sex (him on me) and not a whole lot else. There is no shame in me around this and fuck, I certainly have no problems discussing the event publicly (as I'm about to demonstrate).


Why Discuss Such History Here?

My reasons for having to (yet again!) discuss these moments in public is *only* because the psycho therapeutic "whackjobs" behind the ongoing, so called, "investigation" of myself are hell bent on slotting me in to some (legally mandated) therapeutic circles where such early year sexual experiences are not just simple experiences ... but rather, to the popular psycho therapeutic practitioner, they become, supposedly (in the victim's later life) nearly religious "sign posts," indications, hallmarks of the victims personal likelihood to, yes, you guessed it ... unknowingly and under the spell of that  near magical childhood experience, become MOLESTERS themselves!!  Oh, the horror!! 

(I make a bit of fun with the above, dramatic intro...it's true. But I also think that popular psycho trend/thought is (mostly) fucking bollocks, personally, but for the sake of brevity, I will digress...)

So ... either consult my late teen therapy records or grab a bag of popcorn and get ready to read about it first hand, here in 2013 ... yet again .. mostly because I wouldn't change a thing (regarding my past) but also because somebody has to, at some  point, stand up to the bullies who preach (pursue) the  current day psycho-whackery. And in this case, it must be me; I am not pleased with this task but I undertake it...

So here are the sordid details, abbreviated as they may be...


The Details...

It was an older boy from the neighborhood that was responsible. He coaxed me in to the situation around activities that I liked ... fishing, the woods, etc. I never mentioned names in the old therapy sessions and nobody asked. But we talked about it. 

At the time of the event, I was way too young to even know what molestation was, or that guys generally weren't sexually involved with other guys, or that sexual activity, it's very self...was something that a 9 year old shouldn't be partaking in with another, much older kid from the neighborhood. I just didn't know...

And besides, as 9 year old (and earlier) kids will do .. I had already had harmless little sexual encounters with others, much earlier in my short life and I figured this was just the same sort of thing.

So it happened...

Eventually, as I aged and socialized and started having girlfriends and otherwise maturing. I simply told this older guy (who I now know to have been a genuine pedophile) something of the following sort: "No. Fuck off." And yes, those were about the exact words I used.

And I never saw or talked to the guy again after that. 

And after those late teen therapy sessions, I certainly never intended to cough it all back up in to some public forum (such as this) and nor did I ever expect to have a bunch of psycho-therapy whack-jobs completely OBSESSED with me and the idea that I should somehow, at 45 years of age, make said experience in to some current day "issue" or otherwise something I needed to flaunt around or identify myself with as a human being.


The Cult of Molestation

The above term is perhaps offensive to some of you who might find yourselves stuck in that strange world of "recovery" or "therapy" or "issues" or what have you; and, for that I apologize as I truly think those persons who remain bothered by such early experiences should enjoy and seek the assistance of the professional community should they find it necessary.

But on the other hand, as with the current psychiatric trend to medicate even the most minor of mood conditions, I find that there's also a similarly ugly trend on the part of the psychiatric establishment to, in a very real sense, "trap" their patients in what could only be called an ongoing spiral of shame and social/sexual discomfort; I mean face it, these so called "doctors" are in the business of making money and the very livelihood of their profession depends on a carefully maintained "herd" of abuse victims. And far be it from me or anyone else to discount the fact that many of them will manufacture the so called need for ongoing council and "treatment." Look up the term iatrogenic to read more about such. 

I am certainly not claiming that the whole of psycho therapeutic practitioners exhibit this horrid tendency but I'm certainly saying those involved in the ongoing assault on my person, are.

And with most of this, I don't speak so much from my own experience as I've painstakingly resisted the "career molestation" circles  for the past 25 years or so, but I speak out of experience with very real persons/friends my own age and whom I've known since childhood who themselves are very much embedded in that culture.

The folks I speak of, the real lifelong "therapy addicts," are the folks who, unlike  myself (thank god) have really never even had any sort of normal social/sexual life because of the fact that they have been made so hugely (and literally) fucked in the head by the very process' which supposedly were to benefit them.

Really, it's terrible what's been done to these folk, the huge damage that's been done.

I know of men who can't even playfully and verbally objectify when a beautiful woman enters the room ("jeezus, her ass!," etc.) as to do so immediately triggers what could only be called a spasm of shame and discomfort. 

These same men are the sort who have been coerced into attending 12 step programs such as Sex Anonymous and the like because they might have masturbated and felt so ashamed they wanted to commit suicide.

Other men I've known have been made to believe that there was something wrong with them because they might have slept in the same bed with their parents or some other inane and idiotic hat trick of the psycho therapeutic establishment. 

Or even that childhood sexual exploration among their close friends of the time should be something of concern in there later life and must constantly be regarded as a defining characteristic of their adult self.

And worse. 

I mean, it's a huge cluster fuck that these persons have built for themselves, all at the throne of some "establishment" which guarantees it's own longevity and very existence on perpetuating the supposed influence of such distant, early events.

I pity these people and am genuinely relieved to have avoided that terrible fate. Even if it means being forcibly cordoned to the confines of a minimum wage job for the remainder of my days or otherwise having my current day social/professional opportunities hamstrung (which has been the predominate method of harassment used against me over the past 14 years or so); to me, it's worth it. I simply cannot abide by the idea of sacrificing truth for the sake of personal comfort/gain and so I carry on.


Not a Vendetta

It should be made very clear at the same time that I am in no way on some sort of personal vendetta against the psycho therapeutic community. This is simply not the case. I believe the practice of psycho therapy has value and I know of many persons who have benefited greatly from interaction with the specialists therein...myself foremost among them.

That said, my reasons for writing here are far different...

I write and will continue to write due to the fact that the so called "investigators" involved in the ongoing case/assault against me are actively attempting to dredge up the above mentioned topics which I addressed as a younger man in therapy and to build a current day, public forum around such.

As discussed at my main site, JBHFILE.COM, one of the early defining characteristics of the investigators was to attempt to use any sort of "smear" or offense or topic from my past as a means to build a very specific current day image of myself.  In other words, it's not my having any personal reason or concerns that would drive me in to such circumstances but more specifically, because they have a reason for it. They have a stake in again making such things public; they have things to gain from it.

Shit man...other than being stalked relentlessly for the past 14 years? Other than having every one of my social circles infiltrated and ultimately destroyed (along with my career as a software interface designer)? ... I'm about as happy as a lark with myself regarding things sexual and life in general; I certainly never find myself pondering visiting a therapist for fuck sake. 

But as discussed before, in the end the motions against me are ego based. Further, the supposed legal reasons the investigation was based on so many years ago (going on 1.5 decades, now) and which I've never been able to confront, are in large part dictated to continue for reasons of "burden of proof," the legal jargon for a law enforcement agency having the responsibility to prove that their actions (and claims of criminal activity around a person) are in fact, warranted.

But because I'm not much into criminal activity (other than the occasional movie or .mp3 download) the ongoing efforts of the "investigators" and their cohorts are driven mostly by ego...needing/wanting to be seen as "right" among their respective peers and especially the communities that have been mobilized against me. 


On a happier note

It feels good to be moving into yet another new year; considering what I deal with daily and nightly, 365 days of the year...I feel so very fortunate to have my sanity, health and at least some semblance of income with which to sustain myself (horrendous as the labor might be).

I had written some year or so ago about a personal physical routine of betterment and this is continuing into and throughout the new year. Over the holidays, I had a bit of a self-induced reprieve from such physical training regimes as I wanted instead to devote myself to recreation, "partying" ... and just relaxing. 

And this is what I did. 

I feel slightly worse for it, which is to be expected from fairly robust consumption of alcohol and fatty foods but it was also one hell of a hoot. I got out a bit, saw a few friends and mostly avoided any sort of official get-together as I simply wanted to relish the rare few days free of manual labor and work that I found myself blessed with. In other words and to employ a bad pun? I wanted to remain unmolested by family and housemates and the respective social gatherings they each hosted. This raised eyebrows, as it does each year as folks seem to think that being by oneself necessarily equates to unhappiness but in my case it couldn't have been further from the truth.

Anyway...here's to another year of truth seeking. 

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.

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jbhfile.com t-shirts: It's like getting bitch slapped by The Truth(tm).

Finally got around to making a commemorative t-shirt for the jbhfile.com website (the *real* reason why this some times tongue-in-cheek daily account even exists.

Shit man, I like it anytime I can throw the truth in to peoples faces and t-shirts work great for that, I must say; I've also got bumper stickers ....

...

FRONT:

BACK:
(a favorite quote of mine related to the various skills I've had to learn over the past 12 years or so just to stay afloat through this ongoing debacle)

Pretty gosh darn snazzy if I do say so myself. 

;-)

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.

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Word.

;-)

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.

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Dear, Psychotic lunatics...

Dear, Pschotic lunatics who are stalking and drugging and mobilizing communities against me, I have a not-so private message for you that reads thus:

...

I just love that so fucking much!

Tis true; without humor, we're all lost.

Oh yeah! 

The next blog post here at jbhfile.blogspot will be titled, "A Cult of Molestation"

Provocative, right?

It's going to be a forthright bit about how I've known for quite some time that the manic psychotherapeutic whackos, "waiting in the wings" as it were, are desperately desiring a chance to "ply their systems" upon me ... all because of the commonly known and public fact that I was molested as a young child (it's been quite an exhaustively revisited and very public fact for going on 30 years now and was the fav subject of many late teen therapy sessions of old; a rather innocuous affair as molestations go, actually but I'll save that for the actual blog).

Anyway, the jist of this upcoming new blog post is the fact that a certain variety of Backwoods Psycho-Practitioner(tm) ... (or "practitioner's") is/are acting as a directive element in the ongoing campaign to quite literally change my household of residence, my place of employment and otherwise ... all the while pushing the (rather strange) angle of "We are pre emptively acting upon Joel before Joel has the chance to molest somebody himself!" ... of course, this claim being based on the ludicrous and somewhat fanatically revered (among popular psychoidiots) notion that anybody who had a molestation experience as a child must be continuously and (over and over it seems) throughout their life reminded that (ooooh scary!) yes, "You too just might be a MOLESTER!!!!" ...

Truly pretty humorous at this point. And I personally think that (especially in my own situation) the notion is pretty fucking preposterous...but it remains the case.

But anyway, I'll save the details of my child hood sex experience/molestation for the actual blog post here in a few days; also, I'll talk more about the motivation of the pschowhackos behind the goings on, especially this notion of molestees becoming molesters (hell, I just might do video interviews with my young nieces and nephews just to spur the proverbial bull, as they say, but that's still a matter of personal debate). 

Till then?

Yours in "the strange,"
.joel

;-)

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------

jbh.

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Allow Me to Introduce You to Your New Home

I don't update my main domain and website or this blog too much any more. I've said everything I can about what I know regarding the long winded assault (aKA "investigation") of my self and saying more (unless it's absolutely necessary), is sort of redundant at this point. But lately, it's become necessary.

So, weary though I may be, I will continue with such writings now...

**NOTE: this particular post is a work in progress; in this case the need to publish in a timely manner precedes my own personal desire to write well and in an organized, coherent fashion so check back and things might gel a bit more... 

Drug him! Call him crazy! Put him in a home!

Of course, as stated in the past and despite the fact that I'm not too active here (or at jbhfile.com)...the folks organizing the long winded actions/investigation of me are still (and quite obviously, lately) absolutely enamored with the idea of somehow interfering in my life in such a way that will legally isolate me from what I've (strangely, enough) come to understand as my home, my life and my lifestyle; this, of course would/will be accomplished by any given of the following means:

1. A Covert Drugging: one that so debilitates me that I (unknowingly and under the effects) act publicly in a manner completely outside the norm of generally accepted and appropriate human behavior (think shitting in public, blacking out and claiming to be Jesus, walking around with one's pants off in one's front yard or other public venue, etc.). And, since I don't do drugs, don't smoke weed and only drink a day or two a week, this would most likely be explained away as some random convergence of effects such as (believe it): "the combination of drinking energy drinks mixed with the intake of fitness supplements I take every day mixed with wild and unexpected side effects of a common arthritic medication I recently tried...and all of that compounded by, perhaps, spending two to three hours in the summer sun (mild heat stroke)...which, apparently caused an unexplained brain malfunction that really should be examined closely for a period of time to ensure that no recurring bouts might occur." Again, I'll say... believe it. ;-)
2. Court Mandated, supervised relocation/detention: this would happen after point #1, just above, meaning a following charge by a judge which would include a mandatory stay in some sort of psychological/mental recovery environment, even if it's something as "benign" as a so called "halfway house" or otherwise; the important part being that a judge orders it and that I would have no argumentative or otherwise say in protesting. I highly doubt that anything really terrible, like a 5 year prison sentence would be involved as one, long time family "friends" of mine are still acting as informants and I would hope that some vestige of a soul still exists within their frames (though it seems more and more unlikely) and two...something horrible like a long prison term or the like is unlikely because, in truth, the main driving impetus behind the thing is to allow some psych freaks their leisure in poking and prodding, etc...trying to confirm hypothesis' and what not, write some articles, move me out of the state (the political angle) and so on. So most likely some sort of public indecency charge, or public intoxication sort of setup (with some strange behavioral twist to seal the whole psych part) would be what the court uses to mandate my commitment and a following directive by a judge to be removed from my home for a little visit to "alternative living arrangements", etc would most likely be the scenario.

But the main point to take from this bit of intro is that the mechanism the  investigators wish to use is one that absolutely would involve some debilitation of my person (via drugging of some sort) and then a subsequent court mandated change of living arrangements; it could not possibly happen any other way...other than, of course, letting me personally confront them on their claims against me (and they've already denied me that opportunity countless times; see my log of requests to the FBI, here: my legal requests)

Like I said, this is the same shit I've been dealing with for ages now (almost 12 years) and I was writing about the same thing almost that long ago. That whole circumstance described above, being potentially custom crafted in my life, is what I refer to as a "detonation event" over at my main and traditional website, jbhfile.com. Read about it at either of those two links.

I'm going to talk a bit more, below about the above two horribly bulleted points, but first, the good part of this whole shitfest...

Joel90X!

Little secret? For about four months straight now, I've been getting up every day around 4am and spending either an hour in the gym doing "strength training" (weights, etc.) or, on the alternate days, running 3 to 5 miles. I've been eating right, lots of raw vegetables, really high protein intake, lots of fruit and liquids and I generally retire each night by 8:30pm or 9:00pm as one, I'm usually exhausted by then and two, it allows me to wake easily at 4am the next morning.

(^^ yes, that's me; photos taken on 07.01.12 by a secret surveillance team; do yourselves a favor and lock up your teenage daughters cause I'm coming for them! )

I've been doing this for 4 months now because round about the end of 2011, I simply got fed up and tired of being out of shape, unhappy and generally pretty damn pissy about my ongoing life situation (this investigation shit in large part) and especially my work. My attitude sucked serious ass; I was angry towards people at work and generally hard to get along with in a personal sense and I could see it and was supremely bothered by it.

So, against quite considerable internal dialogue to the contrary, against considerable opposition, I put my boot on my own throat and made some Real Serious Fucking Changes(tm) in Joel's life.

And, now well on the other side of that proverbial "hard part" that is obviously inherent to most such changes, I can quite happily say that the changes have been hugely successful, hugely positive and quite freakishly dramatic.

I've lost over 30lbs and (if I do say so myself), I look and feel absolutely fantastic. My attitude at work has been transformed; I actually look forward to the daily grind and get a lot out of it in an important social sense that has  been lacking for quite some time now. I don't quite "jump" out of bed each morning at 4am but I certainly do look forward to waking and continuing with my efforts to improve myself.

Furthermore, I've cut my consumption of alcohol down to only a day a week or maybe two on my "party weekends" and along with all the other positive changes I've made in my life recently, this has resulted in a much, much better physical and mental sense of well being. I was drinking quite a bit there for a while, finding it an easy way to "chew up spare time," ... an easy way to socialize and otherwise be around other persons and, frankly, it became a bit of a habit. I was wasting way too much money every week and otherwise just sort of ruining my body with it. Therefore, along with my negative attitudes, it had to go.

For the record, I've reached every personal physical and mental goal I had set for myself over the past four months and I'm absolutely enthralled at the thought of continuing, of seeing where I can take myself in a positive sense over the coming months as well. And, for the record, this is my plan for the coming months, to continue with the course I've set over the four previous.

But above all else, these totally awesome, totally positive changes I've recently made in my life are a GIGANTIC impediment to the folks running the investigation (assault) against me as, without the frequent drinking I was taking  part in weekly a very good bit back, without the bad attitude and sort of (admittedly) "doomsday" outlook I would occasionally exhibit? Without all that, then how to forcibly create circumstances in my life that would land me in some sort of recovery ward, half way house or alternative detention center? What exactly would be the explanation for my (likely) semi-incoherent public behavior should the investigators successfully dose me with some debilitating drug and should I in some way make a fool of myself in public or otherwise require external, er, "assistance?"

Energy drinks, fitness supplements and sun stroke did it!

For what it's worth, the following is on the confidence of others who have discussed these things directly with me and despite my ability (or willingness) to expose these persons, it is true. I've talked a great deal at jbhfile.com about those who have confided in me their awareness of the investigation and the simple fact is that they cannot be publicly named as they themselves would then be implicated for impeding what would be called "an official investigation," and so, of course they have and will continue to remain anonymous...but that's not the point of this blog post and so I digress. Continuing...

According to my sources, the investigators have concocted a far flung scenario wherein first, I would be incapacitated by a drug of some kind and induced into a situation wherein I acted publicly incoherent, without awareness or otherwise alarming in nature. Second, I would be either taken to a hospital emergency room or apprehended by authorities. Third, and because I have been living a particularly healthy and positive life style for the past four months, the explanation would be attributed to any number of the following:

1. he had recently used a medication that, apparently, had some unknown side effects.
2. this medication, possibly coupled with his regular consumption of various fitness supplements and/or energy drinks might have further compounded the side effects of the medication.
3. also, he had just spent four hours in the hot Texas sun, surfing or otherwise and might have suffered a minor heat stroke which further compounded the mental abberation
4. and we should also take into account he had drank a couple margaritas after arriving home

As I said, far flung. But really, once any given set of apparently unexplained (and alarming) personal behaviors in one's life are relegated to an arena of psychology and biological/neurological medicine, once the explanation is to be met with those sorts of "professional" opinions? In that case, then, really...the sky is the limit as they say...since pretty much anything environmentally can be factored in as a possible cause for the behaviors of the individual who freaked out (or passed out, as it were) in public because face it, when your dealing with freakish behavior and the mind? You really never can know exactly why it does what it does.... ;-) ...

That was one fuck of a run-on sentence and I apologize, couldn't be helped.

But why such violence?

Why go to such lengths? Why covertly drug me? Why organize a legal situation that warrants or allows a court/judge to suddenly have the right to dictate the immediate future days/months/years of my life? Why would such insanity as that be necessary?

I mean, any sane person has to stop and ponder. I mean, just consider how unlikely all of this sounds!

The most obvious and truthful answer is because the main persons organizing these motions against me (under the guise of a so called "investigation") are of that sort of mental/personality make-up or "bent" which, pretty much across the board is accostomed to getting their way.

It's as simple as that.

Ego.

Huge fucking egos! Giant. Almost incomprehensibly so. And at this stage of the drama, this is compounded by the fact that the Egos have involved whole communities in the effort and now their personal standing/reputation...their public persona (ego, as it were) is on the line; this just tends to make the already fat egos even fatter.

This also quite neatly explains why various federal agencies have not responded to any of my gazzillion requests for proof of the investigation, why they are afraid to meet with me and discuss publicly the claims they have made about my person and proclivities, and why a simple resolution along TRUTHFUL lines is unacceptable to them: Ego and reputation...being "burdened" as it were with the task of proving to the community at large that yes, what they have said about Joel is true (or at least deserves forced investigation/exploration) and that yes, all this effort has been for a very specific and just and right cause (as opposed to simply just admitting that they've made 99% of it up and therefore the need for covert druggings and forced stays in alternative living arrangements and court ordered public supervision, etc.).

Think about it for a second:

If Joe Citizen is thought by the majority of other citizens (in his particular social strata) to be something criminal or potentially dangerous/nefarious...and if Joe Citizen who others are accusing of these things is acutely aware of the accusations and attention of the rest of the nearby populace, wouldn't the only rational and just thing be to allow Joe Citizen to confront those others on such claims/assumptions? Seems they'd be dieing for an audience, right?

"Allow me to introduce you to your new home..."

But as opposed to that, opposed to simply allowing me (as a sovereign citizen) the opportunity to defend my self...the all encompassing, all IMPERATIVE need is to first remove my ability to think/choose/exist independently (the court charge, mentioned above) and to, as well, legally change my living arrangements from one that is relatively safe in a domestic since to one that is absolutely controlled by the main organizers of the investigation against me.

Which is to say that yes, over the years, I have met (and surrounded myself with) people who are sympathetic to what I have been (and am) put through on a yearly basis; yes, I have made a few friends who are trustworthy and who genuinely understand the notion/principle of "truth;" yes, I have developed a somewhat non-threatening (in so far as harmful actions against me are concerned) home environment to exist within; yes, certain of these friends are persons very much aware of the investigation against me, among them being some who are actually associated with the investigation and bothered enough by it's negative impact on my life that they are, on an ongoing basis, willing to risk their own personal freedoms by discussing with me the ongoing threats that I might need to be aware of for my own safety.

And  yes, this is a huge "thorn in the Alliances(tm) paw" ... if I might borrow a line from the awesome sci-fi  flick, "Serenity".

So therefore, primary on the investigators list of hat tricks is to create circumstances in my life that would/will move me out of my relatively safe home environment to one that is not only unsafe, but that would become a literal playground for further psychological "fuckery," mind games and most likely, further attempts to incriminate.

And as mentioned in the opening of this bit of tripe, that sort of environment would be a half way house, alternative detention center or otherwise isolated, controlled environment deemed appropriate by some legal authority.

(to be continued) 

...

I'm a bit spent in so far as this writing is concerned, reaching the point at which I feel satisfied that, at least in part and essentially, my point has been made with most of the above and so I digress for now and will continue in a bit and as I find time to edit/proof.

It's Saturday. The sun is shining and there's a really nice smelling, stiff and dry wind out of the North.

I'm going to try and enjoy it.

;-)

;-)

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.

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How does The Weed(tm) fit in to the equation?

So a guy I know recently started a fairly sophisticated marijuana grow operation; said guy is not a close friend of mine; we do not "hang out" or otherwise regularly associate...but we did...in a certain sense, "come up together" in the local Houston surfing scene and what not, having been acquainted for well nigh 25 years now, if but loosely.

And, by the way, I learned this recent bit of tripe second hand and from another such acquaintance.

And frankly, I find this sort of surprising in it's own right since he's a family guy, has a wife and children and what not ... and is generally an upstanding citizen most days; which is to say that it's a little surprising that he'd be willing to risk all of that by becoming a mass grower of hydroponic weed.

But hey, to each his own.

Anyway, what cocks my eyebrow (good word, "cock") is the fact that he's a long time best bud of one of the fellows/families that I highly suspect as having been involved as informants to the investigation of myself over the past six years or so (hey, like it or not you simple fucks, some of your own people have talked).

Also, I'm interested in this peculiar bit of new information because I've known that supposed drug use (major drug use) has been a shiny little nugget on the wish list of the investigators in so far as some day creating the impression of my being the sort of person who "really needs help" (oh, you know, 90 days of court mandated observation, a month or two in some sort of ghey ass "recovery" ward, etc; use your imagination.)

I'm not much of a pot smoker, btw. I certainly was in the very, very distant past ... daily, even ... morning noon and night in my late twenties ... and, especially when I was employed as a work-from-home software designer. It just worked with the solitary nature of that profession and as well, the other artistic (musical and otherwise) projects I was involved in. It was fun ; I enjoyed it. But, that was a long time ago.

In fact, up until about four months ago, I hadn't partaken of "The Weed" for well over 8 years or more. I was actually somewhat fanatically vocal about it on my regular website for quite a few years as I knew it was one of the main "leverage lies" that the investigators wanted to use against me in so far as getting the proverbial ball rolling towards some sort of isolated environment (recovery, etc.) within which they could, er, "explore" until their hearts were content (which would be never, btw cause they are simply wrong about everything they so desperately desire me to be/represent and so the proper phrase would be so that they could, er, "manufacture" until their hearts content; but, that's certainly for another blog).

But back to four months ago.

Yes, it's true ... four months or so ago, I let my brother (who is a daily user of The Weed(tm)) "smoke me out" (as they say) before we saw a movie. I don't like the illegality of The Weed(tm), but I admit it, I find it quite the nice diversion and far away less physically damaging than is say, alcohol. So yeah, I burned with him and it was awesome. That said, refer to my main website jbhfile.com to read about my current and official standing regarding such activities (association with The Weed(tm). But loosely said, I'm certainly not a regular purchaser of such contraband and nor shall I be. The little experiment with my sibling 4 months back was just that ... an experiment ... the satisfying of personal curiosity regarding something I'd not taken part in for a very very long time. And, as mentioned, it was certainly a hoot!

But continuing...

Shortly after the harmless little "soiree" with my brother is when I heard "thru the grapevine" that this particular above mentioned old friend had suddenly started a rather professional and elaborate hydroponic, marijuana grow operation. Furthermore, the other friend who I mentioned, who has been an informant to the investigation over the years, suddenly started having some free samples that he *really* wanted to give me ("for the road" and all). LOL. Seriously, there at the beginning of my knowledge of these things, old informant friend seemed to always have a bit laying around that he wanted me to "try out," etc. I mostly declined ... and totally declined once I smelled the proverbial rat.

So what does this have to do with jbhfile.com and my personal efforts to prove an investigation of myself has existed for well nigh 20 years now?

Well, let me surmise, wont you?

Isolated environment for poking and prodding

The first and most obvious "red flag," if you will is that, as with many years ago, the iatrogenic quacks behind the investigation still desperately would like to relegate me to some sort of isolated environment for poking and prodding and the manufacturing of what the quacks would end up calling "classic elements of the existing profile." You pick the particular flavor of psycho-idiotic cliche': "over sexualization as a youth resulting in adult promiscuity and a hyper developed, yet unconscious sense of sexual aggressiveness, forwardness or neediness as an adult" ... or ... "molested as a child and therefore this recent internet activity is really concerning because all of us Idiot Psychiatrists(tm) know beyond a doubt that 9 out of 10 molestation victims are likely to molest children themselves as an adult" ... (oh! Much biting of nails and gnashing of teeth!) ... or ... "this is why he was looking at those 18 - 25 year old girls on porn sites! He's unconsciously drawn to adolescent or near adolescent women because he's a classic case of the 40 something male longing to hold on to his youth!" ... (oooooh the danger in that!) ... or ... "clearly a narcissistic personality who needs constant validation from the opposite sex and therefore this is why he chooses to jog with his shirt off or wear revealing clothing, etc." .... (Aiiii! The shame in that!!!) ... but I will digress because it's old news at this point.

So yeah ... obviously, being associated with such an illicit substance as The Weed(tm) could indeed act as a very convenient springboard into some sort of court mandated, extended stay at this crazy house or that. And the important point here is the removal of free will ... to create a legal situation wherein I have no recourse but to follow orders or otherwise suffer the very likely consequence of further compounding my situation (or lengthening my stay, if you will).

Surveillance, Surveillance, Surveillance

One salient point to this whole little decade long debacle is the fact that if *any* surveillance of myself is *ever* displayed in a *public* venue, then I will have, in essence, succeeded in proving a long winded and (for the most part) politically motivated investigation of myself exists ... and here ... most importantly, an investigation related to the sorts of topics I've been harping on for the past ten years in my various writings (jbhfile.com, etc.).

It's that simple.

And knowing that the idiots behind the corrupt and violent assault on myself intend to never publicly own that an investigation has existed (since that would then shed a more credible light on some of my other claims like being covertly overdosed on PCP, etc.), then that in turn gives me the opportunity to fuck with the surveillance guys as much as I like ... at least as a simple/gross attempt at creating such bothersome content that they might someday hold it against me publicly ... at which point, (at least as I imagine it to unfold in my fantastic imagination) I might be able to then say to everybody who has been calling me crazy, "TOLD YOU SO!".

So regarding that initial statement (the above paragraph) ... I've made a point over the past few years to give the surveillance guys something provocative to surveil ... which is to say, when in those environs that I highly suspect audio surveillance to be taking place ... I go off on wild and seriously demented verbal tangents about all sorts of sick shit. I mean I really go for it. It's horrific and it even bothers me a bit to vocalize such content but I keep in mind the fact that I have a point to make and so I make it. Anything at the extreme end of Violence(tm), Sex(tm), Necrophilia(tm) and in relation to Children(tm), Babies(tm) and more ... is what I heartily go at verbally. Really, I've considered becoming a horror writer as I've personally been impressed (horrified) at my own imagination the past few weeks. Shoosh! Really bad shit (really fun and funny at the same time because though I can't prove it yet, I happen to know they are getting it).

And trust me, I will certainly not replicate any of it here because it is the penultimate of vile; but, suffice it to say, I engage in this sort of "taunting" because hey, it's just me in the privacy of my own mind or in the privacy of my own home or workplace with no other human witnesses present (other than the whackos) and there is certainly no will or meaning behind the rants and so ... no harm done.

Something from the very fine essays by one Allen L. Barker definitely comes to mind here:

"By the way, you can taunt them all you want in your head, since it is only you and the Nazis there. Likewise, curse the pigs that bug your house (or workplace!) all you want. They just do not seem to understand that if they reveal anything they know about your private mentation or private conversations in your home they cannot call you crazy. It would be like entering the FBI tapes of Martin Luther King saying the FBI was out to get him as evidence that he was paranoid." --Allen L. Barker, "Mental Firewalls"

Now, in light of all of the above, consider this...

What if circumstances related to myself, which might warrant the need for legally approved surveillance, were suddenly manufactured in my life by the whackos behind this long winded debacle? I mean, specifically, circumstances that have nothing to do with the facts made known in jbhfile.com, but rather, around something else completely unrelated ... like my recently being introduced to this dude who is growing hydroponic marijuana (and who my brother, a daily smoker, is becoming closer and closer with). What about that, hmmm? I mean, it's a decent hypothetical! (Besides, the dude has already made two, er, "deliveries" to my brother at my family company ... and so, ...)

Well then, the whackos could confront me on any of the violent and depraved and sick nonsense that I've been "shouting to the air" in those areas I feel I might be surveilled, while also being able to claim that the surveillance itself had nothing to do with the "nonsense" I've been talking regarding an investigation of myself but instead had to do with mine and my brothers association with this pot growing dude; for instance, they might say:

"And in the course of analyzing that surveillance data, Mr. Harris, we became very concerned about some of your comments that we happened to catch on tape and it's been recommended you discuss such with a Specialist(tm)."

It's a decent hypothetical, a bit granular, but it should still be stated publicly.

Otherwise?

Otherwise, all is well.

...

...

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.

Oh, btw?

A special message to my daily entourage (actually, it's usually late at night or real early in the morning that they're at their most bothersome; but you know, semantics and all):

Just sayin...

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.

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This one is gonna be THE SHIT.

Working a new blog entry tonight ... it's gonna be about shady marijuana growers ... and also, my favorite part ... how I verbally fuck with surveillance crews wherever I might think/imagine them to be surveilling ... and, there's only a couple places really, as it's only in those areas that I would so loudly rant about the sort of stuff (trust me, it's bad) I'm verbally/loudly ranting about.

But more later ...

The two are related, btw ... shady marijuana growers and my love of trying to prove an investigation against me exists; it sounds confusing, I know, and it is ... but it might make a bit more sense once I publish the article (but will probably still be confusing).

Whoot. Big fun on the horizon, yo.

Rock (and I will post a new article for above mentioned content once it's complete) ...

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.

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Putting myself out there!

I've had a fantastic past two years or so. In fact, this is fairly close to how long it's been since I updated this blog, a good sign, that.

But as I've enjoyed the past months (got layed, caught lots of good surf, haven't been criminally jacked up by whacko/iatrogenic fucks yet and have been steadily employed) ... I've also had a teeny tiny watchful eye on those that still desire to turn me into something I'm not.

As I've mentioned in the past ... the iatrogenic wankers have egos bigger than (was going to say my penis but it's not all that big) and so I'll have to settle for planet Jupiter ... yes ... they are that bad in their "Narcissistic" world view of themselves (IE .. rape, pillage, ruin lives or whatever it takes to come out smelling rosy) (but hey, don't blame them ... most are whore academicians who, by nature, consider themselves [and their "systems"] beyond any reproach.) Typical.

Anywho ...

Several recent developments beg ongoing and occasional mention here on my Bad Ass Mother Fucking Blog(tm) ... and so ... not wanting to spend too much time going over this or thinking about things (cause I do my best work when sleeping or simply following inspiration) ... I'll go ahead and cut to the chase.

MySpace and Facebook

I have fun on these sites ... not so much MySpace (aka "MyGhey") because it's recently been purchased by a media whore and is, indeed, beginning to resemble a media whore (as to be expected) ... but Facebooks more "dialogue based" interaction is actually very very fun. I'm friends with ex-girlfriends, friends and a few family members, there. And, as is my wont ... I write a lot there under the notes section (I'm a writer, after all) ... most of it sort of serious and personal observations, prose, poetry, random little stories ... some of it is rather offensive (I also enjoy cursing and blaspheming and being otherwise irreverent ... chalk it up to the writer circles I grew up in) ...

So why mention Facebook at all?

First ... it's online and supposed online misuse ... especially pirated software and illegal porn (pedophile porn! Yeah!) ... which have been a hallmark of the tactics used against me in the past. In fact, it was just a few short years ago when I actually got the courage to even *use* the internet again or possess a computer, such were the movements around me.

Second ... the potential to hack my account on Facebook (and MySpace) is always there ... not that I think too much could be done along those lines simply because of all the stuff I've published over the past six or so years ... but thought I'd mention it, anyway.

But really ... the main thing to note (never mind the hacking bit cause it's not that big of a deal) is that I'm using computers and the internet all day *every* day. WHOOOOO! I love the internet (and though free porn is really awesome on occasion) ... my main appreciation for it is checking the offshore forecasts and talking to my three real friends (LMFAO!) ... and as I've harped and harped and harped ... computers and the internet have been the core of just about every set up attempt I've witnessed .

Public Wi-fi Access Points

I've also purchased a bad ass "Netbook" so that I could both write and do other online bantering (Facebook, research, etc.) wherever I happened to be hanging out drinking or eating.

That said ... I predominantly stay away from public wi-fi access points ... I don't need them because I have a (seriously) dope high speed connection on my cel phone (I use it as a portable router; I pay for it handsomely as it's quite expensive but it's just so fucking handy!).

But there is one fav bar of mine, however which was gracious enough to inform me of their *private* wi fi password (Cafe A****, in my favorite Houston area neighborhood, Montrose) ... this was before I had the high speed cel phone router and so I used it for a month or so when visiting that location. I've since not used it in the slightest as my phone works so good.

Anyway, it doesn't need to be reiterated at this point how potentially enticing that little above circumstance might be to folks who might like to somehow use it against me; the possibilities should be obvious as well (using their internet connection to download illegal content, or otherwise inappropriate content such as pornography or what have you). To my mind it's simply preposterous even reading that last sentence since I cannot really believe anyone would use a public point of access such as that for viewing of porn (in a fucking restaurant!!!???) but I have read stories of Real Pedophiles(tm) downloading all types of kiddie porn by parking outside of such establishments and downloading to their sick little heart is content.

So yeah ... the above mentioned restaurant and my particular knowledge of their *private* internal wi-fi is pretty damn important to mention here.

I no longer use their access point as one, my mobile phone router is faster and two, I'm really not comfortable being privy to folks private information regarding anything related to computers and the internet; but it is true that I'm still aware of the password and as far as whether they will change it or not is beyond me to know. Suffice it to say, however ...

Cel Phone and Netbook

Finally, simply apply the contents of the last above point to the following, fairly new developments in my daily life: I broke down and got one of those ghey ass "smart phones" you see everyone swiping and pecking at every where you go. I, on the other hand don't really swipe and peck at it too much as I predominantly use it as a high speed "mobile wi-fi hotspot." To that end, I also have recently purchased a 10.1 inch "Netbook" so that I could waste time on the internet wherever I happen to be.

And, it works very very well.

And so, of course ... those two newly purchased items are not being used for any purpose that one could call ... hmmmm ... "questionable" ... or even grossly illegal.

Just another very simple little public disclaimer as said connection is certainly not being used for any nefarious or questionable purposes.

...

Adios. See you next year when I might be required to post something new.

;-)

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website,http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.

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and oh yeah ... a little Super Secret Bonus Power Up?(tm) ... click this for a full verbal explanation from the dude himself (blush) (IE, ME!) :

HERE

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