I live a fairly public life.
That said, I'm at the same time not much of the typical "socialite" or "party guy" and nor do I have many (currently, anyway) friends who I spend regular, daily time with, doing the sorts of things I most enjoy doing: surfing, writing, building computers, going to rock shows, working out/training/running, competing in computing benchmark competitions, overclocking computers, recording music, shooting video, studying politics and literature and the like; I do most of these things, at home or out in public, but most times by myself.
I also eat out at restaurants on a very regular basis as well (too much, actually cause I really like Sushi and it's expensive as fuck three nights a week) and again, 99.9% of this time is by myself (unless a book counts as company because I've always got one of those or my laptop). I'm also at the gym at least five days a week.
Similarly, and for the past 13 years or so, I don't date or seek out the affections of women I might fall smitten with (and, just being honest, I fall smitten near daily; I enjoy flirting just like most persons and I certainly do flirt, but in no way does it ever move beyond that); this has not always been the case as, prior to 1999/2000, when all this shit hit the fan, I was a rather regular guy in so far as relationships are concerned, having a few significantly important, long term relationships and quite a few of the "recreational" variety. I am approached by women occasionally and obvious affections towards me are made very well known (even outright, playful invitations) but I always digress from involvement; such things just can't coexist with my personal circumstances as they are. This is not a big deal, by the way as, like I said, I'm totally in love with my own company (happy narcissist and kind of proud of it) and sex...said plainly...is simply not a priority of mine as it seems to be with most other males I know (certain of my friends simply cannot comprehend that I was completely celibate for 12 years straight). I could write a whole blog post in regards to this topic of relations and sex and partnership but that's for later.
1 can be the happiest number too, you know
All of this is to say that I'm a regularly public and social person in so far as being seen out and about around my city, and that during these times, barring the very rare exception, I am always enjoying my own company, sans any other human accompaniment.
For the most part and firstly, this is because it's a natural state for me, being happy in my own skin, enjoying my own company. There's a reason why my long standing and traditional surfing friends and otherwise have referred to me as "solo Joelito" over the years. ;-)
Secondly, the circumstances I've been involved in over the past 13 years have somewhat required this of me as, most folks (my pre 1999/2000 and traditional social circles and the like), after hearing the sorts of things I'm supposedly involved in, or that I'm supposedly the subject of some investigation, have long since very adroitly distanced themselves from me. In fact, I have it on direct verbal confidence of others over the years that in some cases such old, traditional friends were directly approached and told to actually cease any interaction with me (by law enforcement spooks and the like) ...
And it's all good...
I feel fortunate to have grown since childhood into an adult who predominantly enjoys being by his self as it's made circumstances that would be hugely bothersome to most persons, totally endurable and even enjoyable to my own queer nature; I'm in fact happiest when alone. My mind can roam free and I can move from interest to interest to interest without being encumbered by a wife, girlfriend, some family member, best bud and (thank god) any children who might be requiring my attention or otherwise insisting that I see to some thing other than exactly what I personally care to be doing at any given moment. It's quite liberating and indeed selfish (as is anyone's right to be); I enjoy this somewhat solitary living and, I aim to maintain this personal stance/situation for the remaining days of my life here, whether I'm ever successful in proving the ongoing attentions to myself and actions against my person are real or not.
That said...
Other than my housemates, whom I trust absolutely and who know full well of my circumstances around jbhfile.com and whom I've lived with for well nigh 7 years (or more)? And other than my co-workers (mostly family members), most of which have been brainwashed by their very real pals in federal and local law enforcement into believing that all my ranting about an investigation and misdeeds done to my person over the years are simple (and so tragic!) manifestations of an ill mind? There just aren't many other associates of mine that could speak of my daily personality and/or character in regards to the regular, waking social life I engage in, nearly 17 hours a day, every day (which leaves about 7 hours, on a good night, for sleep).
But I should qualify here, I mean, regarding my immediate family; among my siblings, there has been no outright denial of me, or otherwise, no expression of disbelief. They are all approximate of my own age and have grown up in the same time as I; and so, admittedly, versus my parent's antiquated sort of thinking? My brother and my sisters have minds a bit more dexterously inclined to accept the seemingly fantastic (thank you Hollywood!). In fact, my sisters, and one in particular, were essential, early on, in helping me to get through some of the drama and harm that was being done to me and during the beginning moments of these things. And so, I do not generalize with that family bit, not in the least.
My parents though?
My father has certainly been coerced by his immediate and long standing East Houston social circles, even his fiance (as she's the mother of one of the Houston Police Department guys who has been active/involved in "investigating" me). My mom? Unfortunately, she's incapable of genuine rational thought as she's been so "flat lined" emotionally by her use of anti-depressants over the past 25+ years that she simply can't see beyond the Happy Haze(tm) created by such medication; any attempt to foster some sort of critical thought in her is generally smoothed over with a smile and a hug, like she's just casually patting the wrinkles out of a carpet or bed sheet (bless her heart). For instance, even after the second time I was covertly dosed with PCP, and as I tested myself in her presence, back in 2001 or so, with a pharmacy supplied "5 panel" urinalysis (at the prodding of a certain friend, bless him), even when said urinalysis showed a clear positive for PCP? Even then? She just smiled and patted me on the back, "Oh, that could be from all kinds of things," she said. I still have that 5 panel urinalysis card, too. Funny the things we hold on too, huh?
But other than these folk? My housemates, co workers and immediate family? There just aren't many persons (close, personal friends) to attest to my regular behaviors in public.
And, considering that the most prevalent and ongoing tactic model of those behind the investigation is to somehow, and legally, relegate me to a completely different living circumstance, a new home environment, a new job, possibly to a new state or city, even...and considering that the de facto and traditional method used as a means of realizing this goal has been (and is, since it's never been successful) to forcibly and wrongfully incriminate me around circumstances that involve questionable behavior and even more importantly, supposed tendencies towards memory loss and especially sexually deviant behavior? Then not having a typical close-knit, daily group of friends/confidants who spend significant amounts of time with me every day could, potentially, make arguing my way out of such a forced incrimination circumstance somewhat difficult.
And so, in large part, this is why I write here on this blog somewhat regularly; it's a way of putting myself "out there," so to speak, of conversing in a manner that's recognizably intelligible and as a way of constantly making the public aware that, well, I'm aware.
But a Daily Log Might Help
As I will be writing about soon, my personal vehicle was recently in the possession of certain social groups that I have known to be working as active participants in the ongoing motions against me (my father's East Houston social circles); I'm going to author a short blog post about this as it should go on public record for sure, but in brief: I had some body-work done on my year 2000 Nissan Sentra which involved it being at a business associates (a body shop) of my father's for about a week. I initially protested this choice of repair shops but since our company was paying for it and since I just wanted to get it done, I eventually just went along with it.
This of course being critical as any number of things could have occurred during that time. Any sort of manipulation of that personal space of mine (my car) could have occurred which, a week or even a year from now might in some way be beneficial to those wishing to manipulate my life: keys could have been made to later gain entry and plant any sort of contrived evidence, surveillance equipment could have been installed, GPS devices, etc. All of that being quite outlandish and a bit of a stretch if taken out of context of jbhfile.com but knowing what I've been through already and to date? Knowing well what those behind the investigation still desire in regards to manipulating my future? It's not outlandish at all...
But I'll write more about the car thing, later...
My point here is to further compound the fact that these motions against my person continue and that, unlike the normal, unconcerned citizen? I in fact must reserve some small percentage of my consciousness, daily, for continual concern, to be always aware, always a bit on guard if you will...or at the very least? All the time prepared to deal with the sorts of circumstances I know the investigators would like to manufacture in my life.
This isn't to say I'm "hyper-vigilant" (as your typical psychiatry-whore might lust after describing it), or that I'm obsessive or compulsively bothered by such knowledge, as I am not. It's simply to say that unlike most persons, I have things going on other than naturally rhythmic living, unconscious and frivolous play time, and a otherwise normal and unmolested working life. And so I have to take subtle, small but persistent measures here and there to compensate for this. The blog you are currently reading and my main website, jbhfile.com, are perfect examples of this.
A daily, public journal, for instance, is something I will be implementing very soon and in some way, it will be attached to each passing month visible in the right hand menu of this blog. This as a means of personally and very, very briefly chronicling the loose moments of each of my days and as time goes by.
For each month, it will most likely be a repeating entry, entitled something like, "Today" ... or otherwise, some simple descriptor. I'll simply edit the same entry each day, adding a new date header, with a very concise description of that days events (woke 4am; gym till 7am; work and home by 4pm; home and crashed by 9pm ... etc.).
Or, alternately (and this might work better as it won't so clutter this particular blog) ... I may form an entirely new blog dedicated to only those sorts of daily transcriptions... perhaps something entitled jbhfileDAYS.blogspot.com ... hmmm, has a sort of ring to it, no? ;-)
This certainly won't be a diary but it will be a fairly precise, if brief accounting of the days events. I've done this sort of thing in the past (though not publicly) and in truth, it's sort of enjoyable to end a day in such a fashion as I get a fairly healthy overview of what I've done and as well, can think about where I might like to change/improve.
But I won't be writing just for fun...
I'll be doing this for obvious reasons...but, it will not be for fun or recreation or because I just wanted to make something.
No, there will be purpose (if but simple) in my daily accounting of actions.
And so, pause with me now if you will, suspend disbelief, flip internal switches which relegate the function of such and consider for a moment a rather fantastic scenario:
Say a month from now, I go to a restaurant and have a few drinks. Say I'm sitting at the restaurant one minute and the next minute I'm waking up in a holding cell of an incarceration facility, with no memory of the space between when I left the restaurant and when I woke in the holding cell. Say I'm then approached by some member of that facility I woke in who explains that I was apprehended by a beat cop while attempting to solicit sex from a prostitute and that my pants were around my ankles and that I'd even attempted to assault this person in some way? Imagine that I'm then told that a search of my vehicle revealed that I had several different types of controlled substances under the seat or in my trunk? Pharmaceuticals, heroine, PCP, cocaine? And that to make matters worse, questionable pornographic content was also found and some sort of feminine affects or artifacts that would need to be explained? And even more horrible (and this is actually a known desired ploy of the investigators but more on this in another blog post)? And even more effective in so far as casting me in a worrisome light? A light that would absolutely seem to indicate the "potential to do harm to himself or others"? Say a gun was also found in my vehicle?
Now it should go without saying, I don't solicit sex from prostitutes and any person close to me over the years, especially family members, should be able to attest to my rather vocal disdain of men who are so impulsively driven as to actually (the idea is incomprehensible to me) pay for sex. I don't hold disdain for prostitutes, not by any means. I myself have prostituted my body, when very young and addicted to drugs and needing money (it was actually my girlfriend at the time, similarly troubled, who put me up to the act); the details, though known by several of my close friends are not important here. And so having some history in the world, knowing a bit of growing pains and pain in general, I certainly don't hold disdain for those ladies (or men, even) who might find it necessary to so sustain themselves.
Similarly, I don't do drugs. Though I had a well known and publicly recognized cocaine addiction for about a year (that's all it took to do me in) as a 15/16 year old and though I actually did a little jail time for such shortly thereafter, I have never revisited said substance and nor will I ever. Nor do I partake of pharmaceuticals of any kind; I find such drugs completely abhorrent and frightening in their addictive qualities. I have at least one family member who does drugs and could even be said to be very much under the addictive control of such and I pity them, but I personally? I have a very firm and personal moral stance around such things and, not since around 15 years of age or so, have I or do I indulge in such. I drink alcohol somewhat regularly, perhaps one (some times two) days a week but generally at my home. I don't regularly smoke weed either and am certainly not in the habit of purchasing such.
And I certainly don't drive around with a gun in my car and nor do I own one or even slightly feel compelled to have one; I simply have no interest in such things. But it's true that in so far as a fantastical and imagined scenario is concerned? One which has as an absolute objective the casting of an otherwise normal citizen in a worrisome light? Nothing would be quite so effective as drugging said person into a crazed and incomprehensible state and then feigning to have found that person with drugs and a gun in his car (just consider the current and outlandish political climate around such things currently and as I write).
But continuing ...
All of that was to simply (and not too expertly as I'm writing fast and don't really care much to edit) create an imagined scenario, one that, in light of what I've been involved in, is not hard for me to imagine playing out. Hard for you, as an outsider/reader but certainly not a stretch for my mind (which is fairly sound, BTW) ... ;-)
But should something resembling the above illustrated, false and fantastic sequence of events actually occur? What then would I do? What the fuck could I do? What would I say?
My only defense in such a situation would be to indicate my past 13 years of work around jbhfile.com and this blog. Also, the fact that I've documented my days well up until that point (via the implementation of a public journal I am discussing here), with at least a few family members and friends who could attest to the truth of my days and said documentation.
Of course, at that point, the obvious and cliche and expected argument would be some sort of mental illness on my part and that "this fits all the classic profiles" for text book schizophrenia and the like; it goes without saying (though I said it) that this would be the immediate rebuttal.
Hell, even if I said I had been drugged at the above imagined restaurant that "someone must have slipped something in my drink," ... the organizers of the thing would claim that blood tests had been done and came back negative (or they were in the process of being done and would ultimately come back negative).
Again, this would be outlandish as a plain thought; but, as discussed many times, the political origins of this thing arise out of very real and legitimate local and federal law enforcement entities associated with my immediate family and to manipulate a drug screen wouldn't even begin to make a figurative dent in the resources these groups command. The results would come back negative (of course) and they'd simply argue that I'd had a violent and psychotic break brought on by the two or three drinks I might have had at the restaurant I was patronizing (two or three drinks consumed over about three hours, which is generally how long and how much I consume when I go out with my laptop to sit and write).
And of course, as mentioned, when and if I took it to the jbhfile.com or jbhfile.blogspot.com level, were I to indicate these works and point to them as a possible basis for my claims of the above scenario being manufactured? The proverbial "they" would again immediately argue some sort of mental illness as the basis' of my indications. And further, ultimately, the very writings themselves visible in jbhfile.com and here on this blog, would eventually be argued away by some tool of the pschotherapeutic/psychiatric community as a vast and elaborate imagining of mine, a "manifestation of his psychosis," and that it is "indicative of just how troubling his condition is." And, I could even see an argument being made, in that light, that the immediate removal of such content from public availability would be "the first, best and most effective means of setting Joel on a course to recovery." Believe it. Shit man, I don't just make this shit up you know... ;-)
But in the end, they would be arguing that because I can't prove something, because I can't, in a matter of fact manner, demonstrate to others that such things have transpired? Or simply because those persons (several former and actual numbered informants to the investigation) who have actually and personally confided in me certain things related to the ongoing actions against myself cannot, for other very legal reasons, come forward and vocally back me in a civil suit, that this then gives them the right to cite "mental illness;" and that is simply not a claim of right that can be reasonably made.
But once in a legal setting? Once one such (as the above imagined) scenario plays out and once I am at the mercy of a court proceeding? Then no protestations on my part would matter as, though I for the most part hold our judicial system in a very high regard, though I feel it's practitioners (district attorneys, judges, and even a few lawyers) are doing an invaluable service to our system of democracy and our constitutional ideal, I nonetheless must admit that when the outright snake oil of popular psychiatry enters the proceedings? Then all bets are off as, unfortunately, the judicial system really has come to believe "that snow is black" in regards to the claims made by the practitioners of that inane, unscientific and self serving fraternity (psychiatry). By the way? That "snow is black" reference, just above? It's a direct quote from one Bertrand Russell, whose philosophy I personally and completely despise. I think the man an imperialist dolt, and his public thinking echos that claim. Just a bit of trivia...
But that horrible and imagined situation/illustration above is just that, a terrible and awful pondering and it has not occurred and so I don't want to dwell on such things (though I just did, if but briefly and albeit, necessarily).
And so all of that was to say this...
Yet in the event some thing like that does play out?
I would at least have a somewhat intelligible and coherent decade long trail of writing and data to point to. I would at least have housemates and co workers who could testify to my otherwise normal social behaviors before finding myself in such an out of character circumstance as illustrated above. And, I would at least have a daily log of my general daily actions...
I'll be implementing just such a daily log in the next few days.
I apologize to any of you who have signed up for the email alerts as changes are made here as you'll be getting them daily; you could simply unsubscribe if it gets bothersome. But then again, the more I think about it, the more it seems appropriate to form a completely secondary and separate blog to handle such daily, brief descriptions as the course of this one is somewhat set at this point.
Updates to come...
Yours in the strange and unbelievable,
Joel
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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Simple people will believe things simply
Pretty much the only place I get fucked with regarding the ongoing idiocy made public at jbhfile.com is at my family business,...my daily work.
This is mostly because I really don't do anything else: I hardly ever go out to bars or "out," or otherwise; I get up around 4am and work out at the gym two days a week; I run another 3 days a week on my lunch breaks from said above mentioned job and I go straight home after work and either play Skyrim for an hour or two (mad fun) or watch a movie or some TV show on Netflix (I'm a huge fan of the sitcom "Medium," by the way cause I have a crush on Patricia Arquette and fancy myself occasionally psychic as well ... and plus, it's pretty damn good TV.
But I just don't do much; my life over the past 13 years and the circumstances around the ongoing actions against me have required this of me and for the record, I kind of dig it as, I've always, even since childhood, been a recluse of sorts...vastly preferring my own company (writing, reading, building things, making music, listening to valve amps) over most regular and so called "normal" social circumstances, and/or the company of others.
The Day Job(tm)
But anyway, work is where most of the local goon squad from the areas Sheriff department and occasionally Police department, have been staking out their little operations against me; these operations operating, supposedly, under the notion that I take part in a laundry list of purported criminal activities ranging from pedophilia, trafficking in controlled substances, hacking computers, stealing my fathers bank account information to sign up for online porn services and other supposed major and fraudulent purchases, stalking underage women, thieving folks property from cars we work on and even ATM stings have occurred, of the sort where a person just before me leaves their account open (think "Would you like to make another transaction" type stuff). Follow those links if you want to read the sundry details...
And just regarding that area of Houston that my father's company resides in...East Houston? The "industrial district," which is comprised mostly of vast chemical refinery installations, shipping and port facilities, steel mills, machine shops and a whole fuck of a lot of BBQ joints?
I'm not a part of that community, I mean that area of Houston...short of working at my father's company; it is not a traditional haunt of mine. I did not grow up there, go to school there or otherwise have any relations with people there growing up.
But it is, historically, that area where the most ugly and violent actions against me have occurred (druggings and planted evidence and these sorts of things) and where the vast majority of any ongoing actions against my person (to this end) are still, occasionally played out.
This all began back in early 2000 when I had a very real nervous breakdown surrounding these events and when I actually had to live with my father for a year or so simply to make it through life at that time; this is when the "good old boy" networks, comprised of community watch groups and local Sherrif/law enforcement goons began planning the myriad of varied and somewhat violent set-up attempts that have occurred and that may still occur.
My suspicion as to why this area (East Houston) has become the literal hub of most of the actions against me is that in order to actually remove me from my current home, in order to slot me in to some court mandated process taking months or even years to see too, would be to turn a significant family member against me in a legally binding way, someone whom, should I fall under some supposed duress, would be looked to in a decision making regard and to "get the proverbial ball rolling," as they say; traditionally, this has been my father who, of course knows nothing about the investigation against me but who could be coerced in a legal regard to become a decision maker for me should any number of heinous acts against me play out.
Divide and conquer
And regarding my father not being aware of the investigation? Even though just about every one of his very close personal friends in law enforcement are or have been involved (from the Constables office, to the Sheriff's office, to the Police Dept. and even, early on, a certain person in the Federal Secret Service)?
It's fairly easy to understand why he hasn't ever been approached: because to do so would immediately and neatly destroy the very real idea that has been constructed in his mind that I am paranoid schizophrenic, a mental case and in need of medication, treatment, possible committal...simply because I have claimed, over the years, that I've been a person of interest in an investigation.
This notion of my being somehow mentally ill, schizophrenic or otherwise, has been a central and primary thread to the organizers of the investigation ever since I first became aware of things being amiss, some time back in 1999 and solely for the ongoing purposes of discrediting my efforts.
Crazy, unstable, cuckoo ... that I'm just imagining all this wild stuff I write so much about and that has generated so much very real and well documented legal work and effort between myself, the FBI and the US Department of Justice:
Me, the guy who ran a computer hacking bulletin board service for more than a few years, with several personal friends/members who ended up on the Houston newspaper front page, face down in the grass, busted for attempting to counterfeit Treasury Notes (1990 or so)...me, the guy who had to go to court and fight the FDIC to retain my rights to work at the largest bank on the planet and won...me, the guy who, for the past 8 years, has worked closely and who shares a home with, members of one of the largest and most well organized political intelligence organizations on the planet ... called crazy for claiming (and not desisting in said claims) that I'm the subject of not only a so called investigation, but also the target of a very violent and ongoing harassment operation that's not only ruined my career, my (former) social strata, defamed my name and reputation and that has, on occasion, nearly killed me via drug overdoses (PCP, btw) over the years; yeah...right, that sounds really outlandish and far fetched, huh?
Not really...
As I've said in the past ... just because a person claims that events are happening in his/her life that he or she cannot prove to others in some concrete and verifiable way are actually happening, does not give anyone the right or reason to call that person mentally ill, crazy, schizophrenic or otherwise. It's an unbeatable proof, that. Just try me....
The incredibly unbounded, so called "science" that is modern day psychiatry is exceptionally impressive if for no other reason than it's knack for incorporating any circumstance, whether real or imagined, within it's figurative arms as the manifestations of some horrible and mysterious aberration of the brain. Hey, backed by 25 years of statistical data, after all, who could argue with that? It's one of the greatest "sleight of hand" tricks ever pulled on popular society, these stooges and their so called "science" ...
But this is going over very old ground and so I digress...
As I've written, a good while ago I drafted legally binding Power of Attorney documents removing any rights from my parents to make decisions for me in a time of personal duress; however, this was some time ago and I believe such documents must be revisited/redrafted on occasion, but I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm not interested in getting all legal and shit again as it's troubling and stressful and I prefer to simply write as I know I have a bit of an audience at this point and writing is indeed a powerful tool when operating from a basis of truth.
But the fact remains, the idea in the minds of the "investigators" would be to somehow manipulate/place decision making power into another person's hands regarding my future because, of course, were I to make decisions for myself? Were some criminal set up/incrimination play actually succeed? I would just do the time instead of go along with any far flung psycho therapeutic trickery (which is the end all goal, trust me, cause despite what the local East Houston goons think, the real players have nothing at all to do with East Houston and much more to do with Inner Loop Houston...big fucking :-) right there. Never mind the East end pawns that actually do the dirty work, the real originators of the motions against me? The one's who set it in play some 14 or more years ago? They could care less about any given set up attempt against me or how it plays out or who makes it happen ... just so long as it ultimately gets them their journal article or notoriety or whatever other ego-driven boner they have popped regarding me and my person and how I can benefit them.
But my Father's place...
It's a family business; it has it's benefits and I do not take these for granted and am grateful for such: I drive what could basically be called a company car (I didn't have to pay for it); my fuel is predominately 100% payed for; I can get loans whenever I need them (I think I owe him/the company a total of about $2000.00 dollars currently, which, pretty much being the sum total of my Debt in Life(tm), isn't too shabby for a 45 year old male; I've never once payed for a set of new tires for any of my vehicles. I similarly, have never payed for oil or oil filters. These sorts of things, which viewed in retrospect and over the years (whether I was working there or not) add up to some fairly valuable perks.
But it's true that should any given assault upon my persons play out, the first thing that will likely happen (in the interest of removing me from my current living conditions) is some contrived set of events to make me appear as though I've somehow defrauded the company or otherwise, something to so create worry/concern in my father's mind that when it came down to a Judge saying, "Mr. Harris, these things are worrisome but we'd vastly prefer Joel follow some other path than the typical jail time and because the other concerns that arose when we searched his premises are even more psychologically bothersome and because it's safe to say that Joel cannot reason/make decisions for himself, we first wanted to council with you on the possibility of signing this declaration of incompetency so that we can get him the help he so obviously needs."
Fucking believe it. Even though I'm sane, generally happy in life, take excellent physical care of myself and am civil, conversant and visibly intelligent in a daily social sense...the above illustrated sort of thing really is the desired end-game scenario in the minds of the whackos from whence all this shite arises. So of course, some sort of worrisome theft from the company (or even customers, could possibly come in to play as a possible springboard into the above).
But regarding supposed fraud?
It just hasn't happened.
It is true, however that I will occasionally use the company Amex for Walmart shopping runs (toothpaste and the like, things I never really report as it's pretty non consequential and I consider it an unspoken perk of occasionally having the company card...and yes, ... similarly, occasional lunches and the like with the same card...something myself and other family members enjoy. Hell, just this week, while ordering replacement ink cartridges for the company printers, I also included an order for replacements for my home printer.
I don't sweat this stuff; I have no problem discussing it publicly and do so on occasion with other workers but I don't make an effort to turn in receipts most times (though I do on occasion) and the sum total of such things would be well under the range of $200.00 in total (and yeah, I of course still retain receipts as if it did come up, I'd simply pay them). Duh.
Similarly, I will occasionally pocket the 10 or 25 dollars made on used tire sales when running the company alone some weekends, another thing I speak openly about with both my Father and others I work with as, this is something my Father tells me to do on random, infrequent occasions himself; I honestly think he would have no problem with such things if I actually needed the cash and it wasn't something like a 500.00 set of tires or something (which simply does not happen).
But what the good old boy network (many of them his lifelong friends) would interpret these things as, would be something described as "ripping off your father," or worse ... that last phrase being used on more than one occasion and to my face by more than one of his associates. Generally, my reply and in the presence of my father, is something to the affect of, "Hell yeah...every time he goes out of town and leaves me to run things." ... But what the "investigators" would spin is something far worse and what that could/might be, I can only imagine, but it remains so.
Surveillance...
As written of, on several occasions in the past, I also have it on direct confidence of others, some even previous "numbered informants" to the investigation that my father's company is predominantly the only area of my life where daily audio (and potentially video) surveillance data is gathered.
In the past, there have been other areas such as previous residences where surveillance has been gathered and I happen to know the exact nature of some of this data as well, but currently (and for some time) it is just my current daily work environment at my father's company that such data is gathered.
My current household is free of such surveillance, though I think they relish the idea of getting something in here/there...but as mentioned, I live with and have worked with members of a political group who, quite frankly, are pretty damn good at getting to the truth of things and such devices would most likely be quite quickly ferreted out if installed (the ULTIMATE blog post, that!). And, just for the record, I could care less if they were installed as I don't have anything to hide from prying eyes...no bodies in my basement, no children manacled as sex slaves to the walls of hidden, secret torture chamber rooms...no huge or not so stash of women's clothes that I like to wear on alternate Saturdays or that I might have stolen while breaking in to some old friends home (really, you simple fucks?) ... or anything else I'd have a problem with folks viewing
As an aside, though ... Saturday nights are my absolute designated Internet Porn Nights(tm) and that ain't no fucking crime you fucks...besides, when one is forced to be celibate for 13 years straight (true story, with a slight blip/lay a couple years ago)...one becomes hugely grateful for such outlets; so plant your cameras already!!
But there is daily surveillance at my Father's company, my day job, and I hope that someday it is used publicly as I've taken great pains over the past few years to intentionally and quite dramatically create all sorts of seedy, worrisome and hugely violent (but obviously posed) verbal content to quite literally fuck with the listeners on the other end. Oh, you know ... talking about barbecuing little children, how I prefer sex with 6 year olds cause they are "fresh and hairless" (I actually said that one right in front of my Father and one of his confederate buddies, with a wink, mind you) ... or, how I "can't wait till my nieces friends turn 18 so I can legally fuck the shit out of them" (another exact quote) and on and on; hard stuff to say, even with purpose, but I have a purpose and I know they are getting it so I continue.
This blatant taunting of the surveillance crew? I don't know how to describe it, really.
Somehow, knowing you are a victim of an ongoing crime, knowing you are up against horrible odds with only a few (but powerful) allies, and knowing that, in a very real sense, you and the data being gathered about you could be viewed as "an ongoing, 24 Hour, live snuff film that the sadists get to enjoy" ... I don't know, having the ability to, in some way, speak directly to there faces, even if only via surveillance feed? And specifically in dramatic and posed ways that are quite obviously designed to taunt and very much make fun of the claims they have made about me? It yields an incredible and genuine sense of personal satisfaction.
And besides, as the person who the above quote is from has once, also been known to say:
"They just do not seem to understand that if they reveal anything they know about your private conversations in your home (or workplace) they cannot call you crazy. It would be like entering the FBI tapes of Martin Luther King saying the FBI was out to get him as evidence that he was paranoid."
--Allen L. Barker, from his very excellent essay, Mental Firewalls
So, as written before, I really go off on occasion. Mad made up tirades ... just for the surveillance crew,
And really .. speaking to you all? I just *DARE* you to find some reason to use it publicly.
C'mon ... I'll tell the truth... can't you?
Simple fucks.
Anyway ... I am getting random and a bit vitriolic ... which is bad ... and it also means I should stop. And so I will ...
Sleep well.
Fuck faces.
;-)
(humor? remember that?)
...
-------------------------------------------------------
this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------
jbh.
This is mostly because I really don't do anything else: I hardly ever go out to bars or "out," or otherwise; I get up around 4am and work out at the gym two days a week; I run another 3 days a week on my lunch breaks from said above mentioned job and I go straight home after work and either play Skyrim for an hour or two (mad fun) or watch a movie or some TV show on Netflix (I'm a huge fan of the sitcom "Medium," by the way cause I have a crush on Patricia Arquette and fancy myself occasionally psychic as well ... and plus, it's pretty damn good TV.
But I just don't do much; my life over the past 13 years and the circumstances around the ongoing actions against me have required this of me and for the record, I kind of dig it as, I've always, even since childhood, been a recluse of sorts...vastly preferring my own company (writing, reading, building things, making music, listening to valve amps) over most regular and so called "normal" social circumstances, and/or the company of others.
The Day Job(tm)
But anyway, work is where most of the local goon squad from the areas Sheriff department and occasionally Police department, have been staking out their little operations against me; these operations operating, supposedly, under the notion that I take part in a laundry list of purported criminal activities ranging from pedophilia, trafficking in controlled substances, hacking computers, stealing my fathers bank account information to sign up for online porn services and other supposed major and fraudulent purchases, stalking underage women, thieving folks property from cars we work on and even ATM stings have occurred, of the sort where a person just before me leaves their account open (think "Would you like to make another transaction" type stuff). Follow those links if you want to read the sundry details...
And just regarding that area of Houston that my father's company resides in...East Houston? The "industrial district," which is comprised mostly of vast chemical refinery installations, shipping and port facilities, steel mills, machine shops and a whole fuck of a lot of BBQ joints?
I'm not a part of that community, I mean that area of Houston...short of working at my father's company; it is not a traditional haunt of mine. I did not grow up there, go to school there or otherwise have any relations with people there growing up.
But it is, historically, that area where the most ugly and violent actions against me have occurred (druggings and planted evidence and these sorts of things) and where the vast majority of any ongoing actions against my person (to this end) are still, occasionally played out.
This all began back in early 2000 when I had a very real nervous breakdown surrounding these events and when I actually had to live with my father for a year or so simply to make it through life at that time; this is when the "good old boy" networks, comprised of community watch groups and local Sherrif/law enforcement goons began planning the myriad of varied and somewhat violent set-up attempts that have occurred and that may still occur.
My suspicion as to why this area (East Houston) has become the literal hub of most of the actions against me is that in order to actually remove me from my current home, in order to slot me in to some court mandated process taking months or even years to see too, would be to turn a significant family member against me in a legally binding way, someone whom, should I fall under some supposed duress, would be looked to in a decision making regard and to "get the proverbial ball rolling," as they say; traditionally, this has been my father who, of course knows nothing about the investigation against me but who could be coerced in a legal regard to become a decision maker for me should any number of heinous acts against me play out.
Divide and conquer
And regarding my father not being aware of the investigation? Even though just about every one of his very close personal friends in law enforcement are or have been involved (from the Constables office, to the Sheriff's office, to the Police Dept. and even, early on, a certain person in the Federal Secret Service)?
It's fairly easy to understand why he hasn't ever been approached: because to do so would immediately and neatly destroy the very real idea that has been constructed in his mind that I am paranoid schizophrenic, a mental case and in need of medication, treatment, possible committal...simply because I have claimed, over the years, that I've been a person of interest in an investigation.
This notion of my being somehow mentally ill, schizophrenic or otherwise, has been a central and primary thread to the organizers of the investigation ever since I first became aware of things being amiss, some time back in 1999 and solely for the ongoing purposes of discrediting my efforts.
Crazy, unstable, cuckoo ... that I'm just imagining all this wild stuff I write so much about and that has generated so much very real and well documented legal work and effort between myself, the FBI and the US Department of Justice:
Me, the guy who ran a computer hacking bulletin board service for more than a few years, with several personal friends/members who ended up on the Houston newspaper front page, face down in the grass, busted for attempting to counterfeit Treasury Notes (1990 or so)...me, the guy who had to go to court and fight the FDIC to retain my rights to work at the largest bank on the planet and won...me, the guy who, for the past 8 years, has worked closely and who shares a home with, members of one of the largest and most well organized political intelligence organizations on the planet ... called crazy for claiming (and not desisting in said claims) that I'm the subject of not only a so called investigation, but also the target of a very violent and ongoing harassment operation that's not only ruined my career, my (former) social strata, defamed my name and reputation and that has, on occasion, nearly killed me via drug overdoses (PCP, btw) over the years; yeah...right, that sounds really outlandish and far fetched, huh?
Not really...
As I've said in the past ... just because a person claims that events are happening in his/her life that he or she cannot prove to others in some concrete and verifiable way are actually happening, does not give anyone the right or reason to call that person mentally ill, crazy, schizophrenic or otherwise. It's an unbeatable proof, that. Just try me....
The incredibly unbounded, so called "science" that is modern day psychiatry is exceptionally impressive if for no other reason than it's knack for incorporating any circumstance, whether real or imagined, within it's figurative arms as the manifestations of some horrible and mysterious aberration of the brain. Hey, backed by 25 years of statistical data, after all, who could argue with that? It's one of the greatest "sleight of hand" tricks ever pulled on popular society, these stooges and their so called "science" ...
But this is going over very old ground and so I digress...
As I've written, a good while ago I drafted legally binding Power of Attorney documents removing any rights from my parents to make decisions for me in a time of personal duress; however, this was some time ago and I believe such documents must be revisited/redrafted on occasion, but I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm not interested in getting all legal and shit again as it's troubling and stressful and I prefer to simply write as I know I have a bit of an audience at this point and writing is indeed a powerful tool when operating from a basis of truth.
But the fact remains, the idea in the minds of the "investigators" would be to somehow manipulate/place decision making power into another person's hands regarding my future because, of course, were I to make decisions for myself? Were some criminal set up/incrimination play actually succeed? I would just do the time instead of go along with any far flung psycho therapeutic trickery (which is the end all goal, trust me, cause despite what the local East Houston goons think, the real players have nothing at all to do with East Houston and much more to do with Inner Loop Houston...big fucking :-) right there. Never mind the East end pawns that actually do the dirty work, the real originators of the motions against me? The one's who set it in play some 14 or more years ago? They could care less about any given set up attempt against me or how it plays out or who makes it happen ... just so long as it ultimately gets them their journal article or notoriety or whatever other ego-driven boner they have popped regarding me and my person and how I can benefit them.
But my Father's place...
It's a family business; it has it's benefits and I do not take these for granted and am grateful for such: I drive what could basically be called a company car (I didn't have to pay for it); my fuel is predominately 100% payed for; I can get loans whenever I need them (I think I owe him/the company a total of about $2000.00 dollars currently, which, pretty much being the sum total of my Debt in Life(tm), isn't too shabby for a 45 year old male; I've never once payed for a set of new tires for any of my vehicles. I similarly, have never payed for oil or oil filters. These sorts of things, which viewed in retrospect and over the years (whether I was working there or not) add up to some fairly valuable perks.
But it's true that should any given assault upon my persons play out, the first thing that will likely happen (in the interest of removing me from my current living conditions) is some contrived set of events to make me appear as though I've somehow defrauded the company or otherwise, something to so create worry/concern in my father's mind that when it came down to a Judge saying, "Mr. Harris, these things are worrisome but we'd vastly prefer Joel follow some other path than the typical jail time and because the other concerns that arose when we searched his premises are even more psychologically bothersome and because it's safe to say that Joel cannot reason/make decisions for himself, we first wanted to council with you on the possibility of signing this declaration of incompetency so that we can get him the help he so obviously needs."
Fucking believe it. Even though I'm sane, generally happy in life, take excellent physical care of myself and am civil, conversant and visibly intelligent in a daily social sense...the above illustrated sort of thing really is the desired end-game scenario in the minds of the whackos from whence all this shite arises. So of course, some sort of worrisome theft from the company (or even customers, could possibly come in to play as a possible springboard into the above).
But regarding supposed fraud?
It just hasn't happened.
It is true, however that I will occasionally use the company Amex for Walmart shopping runs (toothpaste and the like, things I never really report as it's pretty non consequential and I consider it an unspoken perk of occasionally having the company card...and yes, ... similarly, occasional lunches and the like with the same card...something myself and other family members enjoy. Hell, just this week, while ordering replacement ink cartridges for the company printers, I also included an order for replacements for my home printer.
I don't sweat this stuff; I have no problem discussing it publicly and do so on occasion with other workers but I don't make an effort to turn in receipts most times (though I do on occasion) and the sum total of such things would be well under the range of $200.00 in total (and yeah, I of course still retain receipts as if it did come up, I'd simply pay them). Duh.
Similarly, I will occasionally pocket the 10 or 25 dollars made on used tire sales when running the company alone some weekends, another thing I speak openly about with both my Father and others I work with as, this is something my Father tells me to do on random, infrequent occasions himself; I honestly think he would have no problem with such things if I actually needed the cash and it wasn't something like a 500.00 set of tires or something (which simply does not happen).
But what the good old boy network (many of them his lifelong friends) would interpret these things as, would be something described as "ripping off your father," or worse ... that last phrase being used on more than one occasion and to my face by more than one of his associates. Generally, my reply and in the presence of my father, is something to the affect of, "Hell yeah...every time he goes out of town and leaves me to run things." ... But what the "investigators" would spin is something far worse and what that could/might be, I can only imagine, but it remains so.
Surveillance...
As written of, on several occasions in the past, I also have it on direct confidence of others, some even previous "numbered informants" to the investigation that my father's company is predominantly the only area of my life where daily audio (and potentially video) surveillance data is gathered.
In the past, there have been other areas such as previous residences where surveillance has been gathered and I happen to know the exact nature of some of this data as well, but currently (and for some time) it is just my current daily work environment at my father's company that such data is gathered.
My current household is free of such surveillance, though I think they relish the idea of getting something in here/there...but as mentioned, I live with and have worked with members of a political group who, quite frankly, are pretty damn good at getting to the truth of things and such devices would most likely be quite quickly ferreted out if installed (the ULTIMATE blog post, that!). And, just for the record, I could care less if they were installed as I don't have anything to hide from prying eyes...no bodies in my basement, no children manacled as sex slaves to the walls of hidden, secret torture chamber rooms...no huge or not so stash of women's clothes that I like to wear on alternate Saturdays or that I might have stolen while breaking in to some old friends home (really, you simple fucks?) ... or anything else I'd have a problem with folks viewing
As an aside, though ... Saturday nights are my absolute designated Internet Porn Nights(tm) and that ain't no fucking crime you fucks...besides, when one is forced to be celibate for 13 years straight (true story, with a slight blip/lay a couple years ago)...one becomes hugely grateful for such outlets; so plant your cameras already!!
But there is daily surveillance at my Father's company, my day job, and I hope that someday it is used publicly as I've taken great pains over the past few years to intentionally and quite dramatically create all sorts of seedy, worrisome and hugely violent (but obviously posed) verbal content to quite literally fuck with the listeners on the other end. Oh, you know ... talking about barbecuing little children, how I prefer sex with 6 year olds cause they are "fresh and hairless" (I actually said that one right in front of my Father and one of his confederate buddies, with a wink, mind you) ... or, how I "can't wait till my nieces friends turn 18 so I can legally fuck the shit out of them" (another exact quote) and on and on; hard stuff to say, even with purpose, but I have a purpose and I know they are getting it so I continue.
This blatant taunting of the surveillance crew? I don't know how to describe it, really.
Somehow, knowing you are a victim of an ongoing crime, knowing you are up against horrible odds with only a few (but powerful) allies, and knowing that, in a very real sense, you and the data being gathered about you could be viewed as "an ongoing, 24 Hour, live snuff film that the sadists get to enjoy" ... I don't know, having the ability to, in some way, speak directly to there faces, even if only via surveillance feed? And specifically in dramatic and posed ways that are quite obviously designed to taunt and very much make fun of the claims they have made about me? It yields an incredible and genuine sense of personal satisfaction.
And besides, as the person who the above quote is from has once, also been known to say:
"They just do not seem to understand that if they reveal anything they know about your private conversations in your home (or workplace) they cannot call you crazy. It would be like entering the FBI tapes of Martin Luther King saying the FBI was out to get him as evidence that he was paranoid."
--Allen L. Barker, from his very excellent essay, Mental Firewalls
So, as written before, I really go off on occasion. Mad made up tirades ... just for the surveillance crew,
And really .. speaking to you all? I just *DARE* you to find some reason to use it publicly.
C'mon ... I'll tell the truth... can't you?
Simple fucks.
Anyway ... I am getting random and a bit vitriolic ... which is bad ... and it also means I should stop. And so I will ...
Sleep well.
Fuck faces.
;-)
(humor? remember that?)
...
-------------------------------------------------------
this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------
jbh.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Memento(tm)
This is somewhat of a re post.
I got the title and was reminded of the subject matter as we recently rented the very excellent film, "Memento" here at my household; the film, of course, being about the dude who has some real issues with memory and ultimately starts tattooing shit all over his body in an attempt to remember; I thought it fitting as a title.
;-)
I'll primarily be copying material from previous blogs, as I've written about the subject of memory loss on many, many occasions; not that I suffer from it, necessarily but only because it's been known to me from the very beginnings of the so called "investigation" against me that one of the main tools used by those who have made very literal set up attempts against me is the manufactured appearance of my having some sort of memory dysfunction.
This would be accomplished, explicitly, by first incriminating me around circumstances that appear to indicate memory loss, then searching my premises and finding some "memento" if you will...property I couldn't explain, most likely a woman or child's effect of some sort as this would be the most cliche and immediate way to indicate concern of any given numbers of potentially worrisome subjects (think women's panties, a child's toy or some other thing that would seem rather strange when found in my closet or under my bed).
It's hilarious to read that, even for me, but knowing those behind the ongoing efforts against me very well, it's actually quite a serious statement.
Due to the recent Holiday season and the fact that I was out and about partying here and there...this is even more important.
Before I get in to regurgitating old writings that are still pertinent today (I'll probably just link to them)...I'll first discuss a certain recent event that bears mentioning.
Folks Property at Work
I work in a generally very public environment, a family owned tire company. I deal with peoples personal property, mostly vehicles, on a daily and regular basis. I got over any apprehension about doing these things many many years ago but it still crosses my mind.
It's also important to note that it's my father's friends (totally unbeknownst to him) who have acted as informants and very active participants in the investigation over the years; some of them have even confided in me these things directly. Across the board, especially early on, they worked very hard to foster in him the idea that I was paranoid schizophrenic (though in my mid 30's and never exhibiting any signs of such) and also, even at one point were pushing him to have me committed as a ward of the state (which resulted in my drafting Power of Attorney documents to take away any (emegency based) immediate decision making rights from my parents).
Further, several of these friends are regular and active duty members of the Houston Police Department; more importantly though as I know this group to be the most active and current participants, the Houston Sheriff's department.
Funny story? The Sheriff Dept. is the one who had a C.A.R.E. sign installed across our property many years ago and before I got a complete handle on what was going on around me; for your information, C.A.R.E. stands for "Child Adult Restraint Education." Creepy, huh? I thought so too. This was many years ago, maybe 2002 or so, that the sign was installed, literally, directly across from my work; and, for the life of me I've never been able to discover proof that this supposed "recovery" program for pedophiles even ever existed. Nobody at the Houston Sheriff Dept. seemed to know anything about it (as I checked in to it at the time) but the sign was there for quite some time, nonetheless. Maybe they just couldn't find enough offenders and so it never took off? Like a bad movie or something? I'm not sure...
Anyway, regarding folks property at work and the possibility that it might be used in some action against me in the near or distant future...
Here's a very recent example...
Just yesterday I had to work on a woman's Nissan Frontier...something about her spare tire not working correctly or otherwise having a flat or something. She was in her 30's, very attractive and had her little girl with her. In fact, she is the wife of one of these above mentioned family friends who are active patrol duty members of the Houston Police Dept. I highly doubt that it was incrimination related but I like to cover bases and so I write about it...
This was the same cop/wife duo, who a bit back, were leaving all sorts of high powered body building "N.O.S." style supplements for me and my brother to sample ... round about the exact same time that I discovered that "they" (the investigators) were going to try for some idiotic hat trick where I was made to appear psychotic due to a combination of elements, among them...you guessed it, body building supplements ... but the actual "hat trick" would have been accomplished by a very literal drugging of myself, similar to those that have already occurred.
But back to the lady and her kid and my work on their vehicle; from the beginning it was a very big deal, almost a production of sorts.
She didn't know how to get the spare down and so straight away opened all the car doors and her and her girl started walking around looking under seats and what not. As it is my job to do so, I immediately climbed in and began assisting with the search. The first words that came out of her mouth were, "Pardon my car but I basically live in my truck."
And boy was she not kidding...
Laying all about, in not so disorderly a fashion were all sort of her *and* her child's personal effects: brushes, dolls, little dresses, perfume bottles, makeup dispensers, all sorts of personal items of clothing, Barretts and you name it. It was almost like a women's/children's adornment store.
We finally found the tools necessary to lower the spare and I went about my job, making very occasional small talk with her and her daughter as I worked...they were actually very nice and conversant, pleasant to speak with. Throughout this time, all of the car doors were open and on many occasions, these two were nowhere in site; I mean to say, I was at times alone with the vehicle. My job involved my moving around the full extents of the car; this was in no way abnormal.
But should some incrimination attempt be made, in the near or distant future, that seems to indicate apparent memory loss? Should a subsequent search of my home occur and some such item was found? Then what would be my explanation?
Even more worth noting is the timing. This all occurred on a Wednesday and for the Monday and Tuesday before that I had actually called in and taken off work because of a very real and hard-core hangover recovery from partying at my house (playing video games, writing, Facebooking and what not, the weekend before). Not that I had any moments of memory loss but it certainly was bad enough getting over the fun that I most definitely did not want to be anywhere near 16 pound sledge hammers and the 400+ pound tires that we have to use them on. Trust me, it's not for this blog but my day job could be considered the Penultimate of Evil(tm) when considering seeing to duties with a mean-ass (think sweats/shakes, etc.) hangover.
So anyways, I note this here for posterity and because frankly, I like writing and as my fingers fly (oh, 120 words a minute with very few errors)...I don't know...I get a sense of calm. ;-)
And further, I quite like the cop whose wife I worked for but he's certainly aware of the proceedings against me...and though occasionally active as a participant (mostly "keyword/subject matter conversational investigation" and the like), has nonetheless been nothing but civil with me over the years. This was my first time meeting his wife and child and they were nice enough too ... but like I mentioned in my previous blog post, once "blood is in the water" ...and especially involving supposed issues of sex and children, then folks can be convinced to connive in any number of ways if they have been made to believe that it's for the "supposed" good of the target subject and that a subject is in need of such less than honest action.
Trust me, I've had some of my (now previous) best friends on the planet (12 stepper mental sorts) literally steal things from me for various investigation related reasons (mostly related to certain ex's of mine) as the psycho whackjobs behind the thing thought it to be nothing more than interesting content for perusal... so random acquaintances? Shit man...I can only imagine the lengths they could go to, nice folk or not.
An old example too
This happened quite some time ago (mid 2005) but it's also still pertinent. A close surfing friend of mine and his wife had they're home broken into and some of her personal effects were stolen, panties and what not. Girl things.
Now, it's somewhat of a sex crime cliche (think popular television crime dramas) that sexual perverts like to steal panties...I don't know, for the purposes of "sniffing" or masturbating with and perhaps this really happens but I've never dreamt of such and have no friends who have ever been in to such (though I have some friends into some freaky shit, for sure). It's one of those icky things that seems to instantly capture the imaginations of the viewing public as, pscyho-whack job types love talking about these sort of things in ominous and scary tones...pretty much explicitly in regards to male offenders. Women apparently do other cool and icky stuff like cut guys cocks off and what not but that's not the point here. The point is the psycho-cliche of adult male sex offenders, purportedly doing things such as the above ... and, I can think of two examples of such TV shows that featured such... (the panty thing) ... it's true.
The investigators told them (my friends) that this was a sign of somebody possibly planning a sexual assault on the woman; at that time, the motions against me were extremely hot and heavy (no pun) and I immediately wrote on my main website, JBHFILE.com about the event (bottom of this page, here). And for literally, months after that event...in my earlier, also very public work, folks kept coming up to our places of public employment, making obvious attempts to see what sort of cigarettes I smoked (yes, I smoked at the time) ... as though a cigarette butt were somehow important for something or that maybe one had been found somewhere to supposedly link me to some event (maybe the one I just now discussed).
This was important at the time as the woman in question was, at that time, but not now, best friends with a certain ex of mine whom I had a rather lengthy and important relationship with and which I knew for a fact the psycho-whack jobs were attempting to force some semblance of my having an ongoing obsession with (though it couldn't have been further from the truth). This is also the ex that a friend of mine stole certain, innocuous video content of (DVD of her and I hanging out) ... right out from under my nose, actually and around the same time. Harmless content, but psycho-whack jobs who have had their imaginations piqued imagine they can "glean" important information from the viewing of such and therefore why I think he was convinced to steal it from me.
It's very old but still pertinent. Why? Because it could possibly be used to demonstrate memory dysfunction...even now...if some event warranted a search of my home and some of those old artifacts associated with their home break in were to be found around me or somehow in my possession; it stands mentioning, here.
Childhood events
Also known to me (and also of perverse interest to psycho-whackjobs) is a great interest in detailed discussion of any and all sexual events in early childhood. Think 5 to 10 years old...and as a very publicly known and addressed molestation victim (read here about it), these events, which I personally assume happen in most children's lives, become even more fascinating. Not so much as impacting events on my adult life but more so just cause the whack-jobs are curious and might want to right a journal article or something.
Now I certainly recall such early instances and I don't really feel the need to discuss them publicly, unless somebody is curious and forthcoming in simply requesting...and so it's not my habit to go around thinking about them or much less discussing them (think playing doctor and other curious sexual explorations among friends, of the opposite or same for that matter, sex).
But the proverbial they seem utterly riveted by the potential for such discussion.
For the life of me, I can't imagine how such a forum would be created, other than as some layered process/approach that would come up post some incrimination attempt regarding more recent, SUPPOSED, events ... but still ... it's a known hallmark of the memory dysfunction tack of the thing and one which I only mention briefly here.
Other writings regarding memory dysfunction
Following, find listed by linked title, the other writings on this blog and my main website that I've listed as potentially associated with the memory dysfunction angle:
1. The Black Out Fantasy
2. Memory Dysfunction as a Tool for Incrimination
3. Covert Druggings (some of which have been related to memory dysfunction)
4. Regarding Memory Loss
...
Till next time, kiddies.
(Shit, maybe that was the best expression)
...
-------------------------------------------------------
this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------
jbh.
I got the title and was reminded of the subject matter as we recently rented the very excellent film, "Memento" here at my household; the film, of course, being about the dude who has some real issues with memory and ultimately starts tattooing shit all over his body in an attempt to remember; I thought it fitting as a title.
;-)
I'll primarily be copying material from previous blogs, as I've written about the subject of memory loss on many, many occasions; not that I suffer from it, necessarily but only because it's been known to me from the very beginnings of the so called "investigation" against me that one of the main tools used by those who have made very literal set up attempts against me is the manufactured appearance of my having some sort of memory dysfunction.
This would be accomplished, explicitly, by first incriminating me around circumstances that appear to indicate memory loss, then searching my premises and finding some "memento" if you will...property I couldn't explain, most likely a woman or child's effect of some sort as this would be the most cliche and immediate way to indicate concern of any given numbers of potentially worrisome subjects (think women's panties, a child's toy or some other thing that would seem rather strange when found in my closet or under my bed).
It's hilarious to read that, even for me, but knowing those behind the ongoing efforts against me very well, it's actually quite a serious statement.
Due to the recent Holiday season and the fact that I was out and about partying here and there...this is even more important.
Before I get in to regurgitating old writings that are still pertinent today (I'll probably just link to them)...I'll first discuss a certain recent event that bears mentioning.
Folks Property at Work
I work in a generally very public environment, a family owned tire company. I deal with peoples personal property, mostly vehicles, on a daily and regular basis. I got over any apprehension about doing these things many many years ago but it still crosses my mind.
It's also important to note that it's my father's friends (totally unbeknownst to him) who have acted as informants and very active participants in the investigation over the years; some of them have even confided in me these things directly. Across the board, especially early on, they worked very hard to foster in him the idea that I was paranoid schizophrenic (though in my mid 30's and never exhibiting any signs of such) and also, even at one point were pushing him to have me committed as a ward of the state (which resulted in my drafting Power of Attorney documents to take away any (emegency based) immediate decision making rights from my parents).
Further, several of these friends are regular and active duty members of the Houston Police Department; more importantly though as I know this group to be the most active and current participants, the Houston Sheriff's department.
Funny story? The Sheriff Dept. is the one who had a C.A.R.E. sign installed across our property many years ago and before I got a complete handle on what was going on around me; for your information, C.A.R.E. stands for "Child Adult Restraint Education." Creepy, huh? I thought so too. This was many years ago, maybe 2002 or so, that the sign was installed, literally, directly across from my work; and, for the life of me I've never been able to discover proof that this supposed "recovery" program for pedophiles even ever existed. Nobody at the Houston Sheriff Dept. seemed to know anything about it (as I checked in to it at the time) but the sign was there for quite some time, nonetheless. Maybe they just couldn't find enough offenders and so it never took off? Like a bad movie or something? I'm not sure...
Anyway, regarding folks property at work and the possibility that it might be used in some action against me in the near or distant future...
Here's a very recent example...
Just yesterday I had to work on a woman's Nissan Frontier...something about her spare tire not working correctly or otherwise having a flat or something. She was in her 30's, very attractive and had her little girl with her. In fact, she is the wife of one of these above mentioned family friends who are active patrol duty members of the Houston Police Dept. I highly doubt that it was incrimination related but I like to cover bases and so I write about it...
This was the same cop/wife duo, who a bit back, were leaving all sorts of high powered body building "N.O.S." style supplements for me and my brother to sample ... round about the exact same time that I discovered that "they" (the investigators) were going to try for some idiotic hat trick where I was made to appear psychotic due to a combination of elements, among them...you guessed it, body building supplements ... but the actual "hat trick" would have been accomplished by a very literal drugging of myself, similar to those that have already occurred.
But back to the lady and her kid and my work on their vehicle; from the beginning it was a very big deal, almost a production of sorts.
She didn't know how to get the spare down and so straight away opened all the car doors and her and her girl started walking around looking under seats and what not. As it is my job to do so, I immediately climbed in and began assisting with the search. The first words that came out of her mouth were, "Pardon my car but I basically live in my truck."
And boy was she not kidding...
Laying all about, in not so disorderly a fashion were all sort of her *and* her child's personal effects: brushes, dolls, little dresses, perfume bottles, makeup dispensers, all sorts of personal items of clothing, Barretts and you name it. It was almost like a women's/children's adornment store.
We finally found the tools necessary to lower the spare and I went about my job, making very occasional small talk with her and her daughter as I worked...they were actually very nice and conversant, pleasant to speak with. Throughout this time, all of the car doors were open and on many occasions, these two were nowhere in site; I mean to say, I was at times alone with the vehicle. My job involved my moving around the full extents of the car; this was in no way abnormal.
But should some incrimination attempt be made, in the near or distant future, that seems to indicate apparent memory loss? Should a subsequent search of my home occur and some such item was found? Then what would be my explanation?
Even more worth noting is the timing. This all occurred on a Wednesday and for the Monday and Tuesday before that I had actually called in and taken off work because of a very real and hard-core hangover recovery from partying at my house (playing video games, writing, Facebooking and what not, the weekend before). Not that I had any moments of memory loss but it certainly was bad enough getting over the fun that I most definitely did not want to be anywhere near 16 pound sledge hammers and the 400+ pound tires that we have to use them on. Trust me, it's not for this blog but my day job could be considered the Penultimate of Evil(tm) when considering seeing to duties with a mean-ass (think sweats/shakes, etc.) hangover.
So anyways, I note this here for posterity and because frankly, I like writing and as my fingers fly (oh, 120 words a minute with very few errors)...I don't know...I get a sense of calm. ;-)
And further, I quite like the cop whose wife I worked for but he's certainly aware of the proceedings against me...and though occasionally active as a participant (mostly "keyword/subject matter conversational investigation" and the like), has nonetheless been nothing but civil with me over the years. This was my first time meeting his wife and child and they were nice enough too ... but like I mentioned in my previous blog post, once "blood is in the water" ...and especially involving supposed issues of sex and children, then folks can be convinced to connive in any number of ways if they have been made to believe that it's for the "supposed" good of the target subject and that a subject is in need of such less than honest action.
Trust me, I've had some of my (now previous) best friends on the planet (12 stepper mental sorts) literally steal things from me for various investigation related reasons (mostly related to certain ex's of mine) as the psycho whackjobs behind the thing thought it to be nothing more than interesting content for perusal... so random acquaintances? Shit man...I can only imagine the lengths they could go to, nice folk or not.
An old example too
This happened quite some time ago (mid 2005) but it's also still pertinent. A close surfing friend of mine and his wife had they're home broken into and some of her personal effects were stolen, panties and what not. Girl things.
Now, it's somewhat of a sex crime cliche (think popular television crime dramas) that sexual perverts like to steal panties...I don't know, for the purposes of "sniffing" or masturbating with and perhaps this really happens but I've never dreamt of such and have no friends who have ever been in to such (though I have some friends into some freaky shit, for sure). It's one of those icky things that seems to instantly capture the imaginations of the viewing public as, pscyho-whack job types love talking about these sort of things in ominous and scary tones...pretty much explicitly in regards to male offenders. Women apparently do other cool and icky stuff like cut guys cocks off and what not but that's not the point here. The point is the psycho-cliche of adult male sex offenders, purportedly doing things such as the above ... and, I can think of two examples of such TV shows that featured such... (the panty thing) ... it's true.
The investigators told them (my friends) that this was a sign of somebody possibly planning a sexual assault on the woman; at that time, the motions against me were extremely hot and heavy (no pun) and I immediately wrote on my main website, JBHFILE.com about the event (bottom of this page, here). And for literally, months after that event...in my earlier, also very public work, folks kept coming up to our places of public employment, making obvious attempts to see what sort of cigarettes I smoked (yes, I smoked at the time) ... as though a cigarette butt were somehow important for something or that maybe one had been found somewhere to supposedly link me to some event (maybe the one I just now discussed).
This was important at the time as the woman in question was, at that time, but not now, best friends with a certain ex of mine whom I had a rather lengthy and important relationship with and which I knew for a fact the psycho-whack jobs were attempting to force some semblance of my having an ongoing obsession with (though it couldn't have been further from the truth). This is also the ex that a friend of mine stole certain, innocuous video content of (DVD of her and I hanging out) ... right out from under my nose, actually and around the same time. Harmless content, but psycho-whack jobs who have had their imaginations piqued imagine they can "glean" important information from the viewing of such and therefore why I think he was convinced to steal it from me.
It's very old but still pertinent. Why? Because it could possibly be used to demonstrate memory dysfunction...even now...if some event warranted a search of my home and some of those old artifacts associated with their home break in were to be found around me or somehow in my possession; it stands mentioning, here.
Childhood events
Also known to me (and also of perverse interest to psycho-whackjobs) is a great interest in detailed discussion of any and all sexual events in early childhood. Think 5 to 10 years old...and as a very publicly known and addressed molestation victim (read here about it), these events, which I personally assume happen in most children's lives, become even more fascinating. Not so much as impacting events on my adult life but more so just cause the whack-jobs are curious and might want to right a journal article or something.
Now I certainly recall such early instances and I don't really feel the need to discuss them publicly, unless somebody is curious and forthcoming in simply requesting...and so it's not my habit to go around thinking about them or much less discussing them (think playing doctor and other curious sexual explorations among friends, of the opposite or same for that matter, sex).
But the proverbial they seem utterly riveted by the potential for such discussion.
For the life of me, I can't imagine how such a forum would be created, other than as some layered process/approach that would come up post some incrimination attempt regarding more recent, SUPPOSED, events ... but still ... it's a known hallmark of the memory dysfunction tack of the thing and one which I only mention briefly here.
Other writings regarding memory dysfunction
Following, find listed by linked title, the other writings on this blog and my main website that I've listed as potentially associated with the memory dysfunction angle:
1. The Black Out Fantasy
2. Memory Dysfunction as a Tool for Incrimination
3. Covert Druggings (some of which have been related to memory dysfunction)
4. Regarding Memory Loss
...
Till next time, kiddies.
(Shit, maybe that was the best expression)
...
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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Blood in the Water (draft) ...
As is my typical wont...once I start writing here, I tend to have a string of posts; one important point sets me to churning on other important points (and there's a lot of important points to point out, if you will)...and so, I simply don't stop till I feel like it's all been said.
DISCLAIMER: Also, before I get into this...let me reiterate as I have on countless occasions before that everything I write here is based completely on hypothesis; nothing is matter of fact and nothing should be read as such. Call these things "strong hunches," or even, "intuition," ... simple bits of information I muse on which are directly related to the very factual information made public in my main website, JBHFILE.COM. I mean face it .. to read all of this as factual, especially without any prior knowledge of my circumstances? Well fuck, that would just be crazy, huh? ;-) ... But I do get strong hunches and I do enjoy pondering on things and so that's why this blog exists.
Back to business...
So in the works is a bit regarding the exceptional vantage point that 14 years of being the subject of very persistent, very thorough and very damaging "rumor mill" and slander operations has allowed me in the way of understanding the freakishness of certain human, social dynamics.
I've watched this closely over the years, most times with much discomfort (though this has gotten easier over time) but all the while with very real fascination; yes, even throughout this ongoing ordeal I've found some way to educate myself about the human condition and have, in not so many words, very much grown in a social sense.
And also, what will follow isn't so much things I want to expose or that might be perpetrated against me (as this is the usual tack here); but rather, it is a sort of personal and mental diatribe, a personal bit of commentary, purely sociological/psychological in nature and as random as can be. But still ... it's something I feel to be worth writing about.
Blood in the Water
So what could potentially happen in a persons public/social dynamic when said person becomes the subject of a rumor and slander operation, pushed upon literally every one of that persons past and ongoing/new social circles? What happens when said rumor/slander operation morphs into some sordid and political, local and ego driven assault on said person? An assault that has as it's literal basis the absolute destruction of that persons social strata, up to and including his personal relationships, family relationships, career opportunities and especially any chance for some semblance of any "normal" intimate relationship with any member of the opposite sex that should strike his fancy?
And by far most importantly, an assault (or investigation as "they" would put it) that has as an all encompassing goal, the absolute proof that everything they have claimed about a person is not only true but very much warranted (burden of proof is the legal jargon).
What can he surmise (and possibly observe) that might be going on in the minds and demeanor of those surrounding him on a daily basis?
And especially, what can he observe in those persons who might have been fed countless lies about his supposed personal habits and tendencies which, in my case, across the board, would have to do with anything sexual and especially anything sexually nefarious.
In this latter regard, think topics such as pedophilia or even more likely, my supposed attempts to seek sexual attentions from persons far too young for a 45 year old man, or think the normal social interaction which might occur with the teen or 20-something working at any given coffee house or bar I might habitually frequent, or think about something as harmless as spending time with my young nephews and nieces...or even something so socially benign as smiling at a beautiful kid who happens to be walking by with their parents, possibly even commenting on such...these sorts of things?
What might these very regular and normal social interactions mutate into in the minds of those who might have been made to believe any given number of horrible things about an individual and as they observe these otherwise normal interactions? How might the general public (if under the spell of the rumor campaign) react to such an individual/target when he simply attempts to go about his normal social existence like any other citizen?
Well in short, it's fairly frightening, take it from me (but as mentioned above, it's gotten easier over the years); because, once the proverbial blood is in the water, once the seed has been planted in that "social mind," then even the most benign of public interactions, all of them in fact, can grow into literal and imaginary monsters in the minds of the observing public: mere glances become the apparent evidence of inappropriate attraction; simply pulling behind the wrong car when leaving from a restaurant might be interpreted as possible signs of stalking; and, casual banter with certain individuals? A sure sign of possible sexual predatory behavior.
Sounds far fetched? Not really. Again...take it from me. I've watched it with utter fascination (and at times, fear) over the years.
Secondly, and in a clinical sense, it's somewhat fucking amazing to this writer that such psychological operations involving a target subject (in this case, myself) can be so damned effective and thoroughly achieved.
This is made even more outstanding in a sociological sense when you consider that I'm 45 years of age, have had (prior to this) a hugely successful career, have had (prior to this) countless incredibly awesome and very intimate relationships with all sorts of women (all of which were my age, mind you)...and have never once even thought about, much less attempted, "hitting on" or making advances on someone beyond 3 to 4 years my junior. Also and especially, that I've a literal wealth of family history with siblings, cousins, personal friends, nieces, nephews and otherwise as testimony to my (gross to even have to address this here) conduct around children for chrissake.
And yet the operation/assault still works!
That said as not so much of a character defense as a true exploration of how unbelievable it its. Damned amazing, and this is nothing "Stockholm-esque" (the syndrome), just a genuine and personal fascination/appreciation for such things as a "tactic model" for the social destruction of a targeted individuals life and well being. I mean, it's damned impressive.
And the only explanation is that said mentioned "rumor mill" and the very persistent "slander operations" must certainly have originated from some pretty damned well respected (socially) sources (think FBI, local police and especially and possibly, high ranking political figures and even University specialists who might reside in the Houston area).
Suffice it to say, these are the sorts of things I will discuss in the continuation of this particular blog. But it's not so much that last bit, my almost having to "defend" my past personal history, that I will discuss. More so it's about the general public...how a normal social landscape, restaraunts, pubs, bookstores ... even a gym ... can become a literal social experimentation petridish in regards to observing the reactions within the general public while interacting with a person who has been so described by supposed "authorities" as "under investigation " or "a possible pedophile," or "a stalker," or a "hacker," or worse.
Because, said plainly? Once blood is in the water, once entire social groups have been saturated with particular and damning claims regarding a specific individual? Then frankly, those minds that have been convinced can really go fucking crazy with wild imaginings ... as though they almost want to believe, want to see some indication to confirm the claims they've heard...and, speaking strictly of my own opinion in regards to such? I think it could get pretty crazy...
(to be continued... and, as I find time to stop and write)
...
Rock.
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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
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jbh.
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Friday, January 11, 2013
Training material for sex addicts
Since my last blog post was just so damn serious (and pretty fucking intimate to boot!). I thought it would be appropriate to post a bit of personally created, super fun, super sexual video content to disturb all the 12 Stepper Sex Fiends(tm) who might be lurking out there, cringing at every simple utterance of the words "vagina" or "breast" or "cock." Or otherwise, simply to lighten the mood and all ... cause face it, *nothing* is *that* serious ... (is it?) ...
:-) ... Humor? Remember that? And so...
Yes, it's you I was speaking of in the last blog, the guys who are actually ashamed of their attraction to beautiful women (for whatever therapy induced reason).
These are the guys I've personally known who couldn't even have a beer with me without having to "call their sponsor" because (ACK!) a super hot woman just happened to walk by our table with her mid drift exposed and (the worst!) might have accidentally brushed up against their chair...you know, the damaged sort who've had their brains so soaked in the rhetoric of popular "recovery" (ie: "Sex Anonymous" and the like), that they were never even able to have a friendship with a woman, much less a sexual relationship.
DISCLAIMER: I mean no slant on the true sex addicts, here because I know they are out there...but these are not the guys I'm talking about. My long past personal friends who I refer too here couldn't have gotten layed if they tried, much less have had daily sex with strangers or any of the other true aberrant behavior patterns that genuine sex addiction counts as hallmarks; so please don't mis-read.
But that's all getting way off the point of this supposedly fun and light hearted post... and so I digress ...
So, the other night!!
So the other night, I went up to a local Houston bar where a certain surfing friend of mine is a server. I just wanted to have a few beers and talk shit. I had never been to this certain bar, and as it turns out...it was sort of a "hoity toity" bit of high dollar affair that just happened to feature regular weekend "burlesque" shows (as well as really good drinks). And, when I say "Burlesque," I mean in the classic sense of dramatic skits and dialogue, punctuated with really sexual dance numbers which always sort of support the ongoing drama. It's nearly pornographic but in a very classy sense and super humorous and entertaining at the same time.
Personally? I fucking loved it, never saw it coming. And, I've already talked to my sister and brother and other friends about coming out for drinks there again some time.
But in the spirit of fucking with the therapy-damaged-sex-freaks (and also to pimp my personal YouTube(tm) channel (especially my world famous "Insomnia Series(tm)" ) ... I just *had* to post this bit of love that I shot and edited about three weeks ago at my buds bar (Prohibition Craft of Cocktails! if ever in Houston, check 'em out!) ...
...
Enjoy!
...
(BTW! : I encourage you to view the video at YouTube proper cause it looks a whole hell of a lot better there than the little, in-line video below does; just a tip)
...
...
So awesome.
I hope it makes you damaged sorts call your sponsor or go to a meeting.
Personally? I think it's gorgeous.
But then again, I'm a well known local Houston Sexual Predator(tm) ... ahem ... according to certain local law enforcement (and collegiate, as well) authorities, anyway ... and other than being WAY too old for me? I think she's super fucking sexy.
;-)
Humor. Remember. Without it, all of us involved in this ugly tryst would be lost.
OH Yeah!
Also in the spirit of fun, if you care to see any more of the near monthly "Insomnia Series(tm)" vids that I personally produce and shoot in and around my regular haunts, here in Houston? Just check out my YouTube channel, yo!:
Here's a handy link: Joel's YouTube Channel(tm)
Rock the fuck.
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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------
jbh.
-------------------------------------------------------
this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------
jbh.
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The jbhFILE.com Official Daily Blog
- Joel Harris
- Houston, Texas, United States
- This blog is a supplementary text to my main website at: http://www.jbhfile.com. The purpose of this blog is to form a semi daily dialogue related to personal circumstances as outlined in jbhFILE.com. have fun.