A man should not fear his work...

I've written before (many times actually) of how the sordid movements against me over the years have pretty much destroyed my historic and traditional career in visual and software interface design. In fact, by far the greatest effort made on the part of the “investigators” and early on, was to prevent me from gaining any gainful (if I may) employment in that field (really, anything to do with computers as I'm also very skilled in networking and hardware disciplines in general).

Back around year 2001, when I was leaving my last important design position (Art Director at a prominent Houston design firm) and while seeking new employment, I had a funny but telling experience. It's sort of indicative of just how badly they(tm) were working to prevent me from working and it was also, very much, an effort to quite literally loose my mental hinges.

And it worked, freaked my shit real bad to be honest and eventually I would crack under the sort of daily experiences like the one I'm about to describe:

I had just been hired at another design firm, also a fairly prominent group here in Houston, and after leaving my initial meeting with the owners/management … and as I was walking down the stairs to go to my car, a plainly dressed guy came up the stairs and passed me and as he did so, he muttered under his breath … “Don't get too comfortable in your new job.” Any normal civilian would have said, “Excuse me? What did you say?” … but I was acutely aware of the movements around and regarding me and had been for some time and so I knew all too well why the comment was made. To have inquired would have assuredly garnered a response of the sort, “I'm sorry but I didn't say anything.”

Believe it … true story.

Anyway … before I waste a lot of breath on old stories that really aren't too much about what I want to get at with this bit, I'll stop.

Work that's not work...

But suffice it to say, my professional background is in software interface design … also, visual design in general. 

I enjoy all sorts of visual design, from book covers to brochures to posters to custom DVD productions for my niece to t-shirts to even general text layout as evidenced in my own site jbhfile.com (pretty much the greatest text based site I've ever personally designed and built) ,... but by far, software interface design is my main love. 

The task of gathering together some strange new groups various processes and problems and coordinating with a team of similarly passionate professionals in an effort to craft an elegant solution via mathematical logic and visual interfaces is pretty much akin to the most enjoyable and rewarding sort of “play” for me that I can imagine (it was, anyway); I never once thought of it as work and would never stop doing it … even after I left the nine to five … I went to bed thinking about it, woke up thinking about it and could not wait for the next significant milestone to be reached as any given project progressed. And upon completion of each and every project, it felt like I'd just reached the summit of some new and monumental peak; it was and is a transcendentally enjoyable process, this task of creating something beautiful and functional, basically from nothing. 

The fact that people were paying me upwards of $60 dollars an hour to do the work was sort of beside the point … I would have done that shit for free, to be honest, and so the huge pay checks were quite literally, “gravy.”

And, as I'll eventually get too … I really am currently doing it for free … and as I find the time and the clients I find interesting enough to commit too. Not so much software design, but at least visual design of a sort. But more on that several blocks of text down …

A man should not fear his work...

All that said and as a direct consequence of being the victim of a hugely sweeping and constant smear campaign (they call it an investigation, LOL), I've been fixing flats tires for 12 dollars an hour for the past 8 years. 

No shit. 

I do it every day and it sucks the proverbial fucking ass. It's brutally physical (imagine flipping over 400lb tires all day), hideously dirty, incredibly dangerous labor (most of the work is on huge tires forfork trucks and the like). It's truly the bottom of the labor-pool barrel; not as any slight against them cause I've found some of them to be strangely stand-up guys … but the majority of the guys I work side by side with are ex convicts (from murder to robbery to drugs, you name it). It's the only job that these guys can get. And, for the past 15 years, it's been the only job I can get as well.

I make daily attempts to manage my emotional reactions to the work because it really is something horrible to have to wake up looking at each and every Monday and the tendency to become angered or feel sorry for myself is, admittedly a real factor (I'm human). And in fact, in my better moments, I've actually managed to see the work as some sort of personal and challenging daily lesson in how best to manage my self and especially my emotional reactions to having to endure horrible things; being prone to self observation, being a person who is genuinely bugged when he observes his self acting and behaving idiotically or childishly, I've really at times found the work beneficial as a learning device and in regards to how best to manage my ever developing self. 

All that sensitive shit said? 

At 46 years of age, though in super fucking good physical shape (yes, I can brag) ... I genuinely have very real fear reactions every time some new task is given to me to complete because invariably it will involve tremendous physical labor, heat, sweating, tremendous physical labor, being covered in chemicals and grease, tremendous physical labor, constantly busted fingers and other body parts, and other, generally horrible things like tremendously physical labor. I am one of the only two guys at our company who can go out on "road calls" (the others don't have drivers licenses because they are either immigrants or ex-cons) ... and I swear, every time our fucking phone rings (it's broadcast on an external speaker) ... my heart leaps into my throat and adrenaline spurts in to my veins cause I know it's some Port of Houston facility calling to have me come out and do some god fucking awful, horrible thing.

If a man fears his work, then he is obviously in the wrong line of work; this is something I repeat to myself constantly and as a mantra some particularly horrible days ... it doesn't help much but it at least keeps me constantly aware of the fact that I'm far better and more utilized as a human resource when employed doing the things I love. Meh... 

This current and horrific labor that I see to on a daily basis stands in such utter and complete contrast to the sort of work I was doing before that at times I can't help but feel I'm acting in some sort of cosmic, dark comedy of a play (and in fact, I know it to be the case that I kind of really am, but that's not for this blog post). In my previous and traditional profession as a design professional, me and my fellows would literally fight over who got to do any given task/project; it was that important and that fun to us. Hugely competitive and hugely rewarding. 

Some funny shit is that if you look at the “about” section on my ridiculous Facebook page, you'll see an employment listing that looks something like this:

• 1995-1996 – Lead interface designer for (insert some design firms name)
• 1996-1997 – Lead interface designer for (insert Houston's only major newspaper's name)
• 1997-2000 - Assistant Vice President to Treasury Solutions/Art Director/Lead Interface designer (insert name of the largest bank on the planet)
• 2000-2001 – Art Director/Lead Interface designer at (insert largest digital book repository/archive on the planet)
• 2001-2002 – Art Director at (insert major Houston software development company/Ad agency)
• 2002-2014 – Fixing flats for 12 dollars an hour; it sucks fucking ass

Oh, I can laugh at that now, thank god … but time was when it really hurt. And that above list is pretty much verbatim from my stupid ass Facebook page. 

As a brief aside ... I hate Facebook. I just use it to post filth, pornography, religiously blasphemous tirades and otherwise to try and piss my more family oriented friends off. I actually play a sort of game to see how many people I can get to “friend” me and then see how quickly I can get them to delete me. It's so fucking fun and so I guess, in that regard, it has some worth. Oh yeah, as weird as every one I know might find it … I post lots of very serious stuff about my ongoing effort around jbhfile.com and my ongoing attempt to publicly prove an investigation of myself has, indeed, existed over the past 15+ years. I also publish lots of personal writing under the notes section.

I'll do this shit for free...

Anyway … as mentioned above, I've been doing a bit of pro bono, free design work. Lately it's involved doing book covers for a really cool, non profit, small press publisher called Nostrovia!. They've published some of my poetry in the past (I actually won a fucking writing contest!) and so, knowing my professional background in design, they invited me to assist with some design work. The covers are for digital books that are published in .PDF format and ultimately are uploaded to online sites like Isssu.com, and I can't even begin to describe how refreshing it has been to be involved with the work.

It's very fast turn around as they hit me with about 12 books at once and so with hugely limited free/personal time, I've had to pretty much crank it out in “turbo design” mode … the ideas/conceptual work isn't that deep because of these time constraints but I get to use some personal photography and have complete creative license in so far as how I might choose to illustrate any given set of poems (they are published in what is known in the writing scene as, “chapbooks.”). Further, I am doing all page by page content presentation and layout, as well as a bit of branding/logo/identity work for the Nostrovia! group in general.

So to the point of this typically winded bit of a blog post ...


The free work I've been doing of late...

Following are some of the book covers I've recently completed ... as well as some of the content pages from the actual digital books that we are publishing. 

I did everything you see here (except where noted/credited) ... layout, photography, typography, compositing, etc. The tools used are primarily Adobe Photoshop, Adobe Illustrator and Serif Page Plus (this last one, a really simple but very effective page layout program similar but far inferior to Adobe Indesign).

And, over the coming months, I look forward to doing more for these fine folk. And ... of course ... for fucking free. Why? Because I love it...

A man should not fear his work; he should run towards it.

;-)

...

EXPLAINED:

This is one of my favorites cause it involved the most production work. I shot the little bits of paper with my cel phone (believe it or not) and then composited the cover together in photoshop using layers of the poetry overlayed with various other blending/collage techniques. Turned out pretty cool. Reminds me of the color scheme/design approach used on the walls of a lot of the Starbucks coffee shop interiors, I've seen (LMFAO. I also include here a couple other shots from the same book showing how the content pages follow the theme set by the cover. The vintage porn photo is from a public domain photo repository of images over 100 years old, bit of trivia there ... :

...

...

EXPLAINED:

The following is a smaller book we've done, using a slightly diminished canvas size and a different branding style on the content pages ... the type treatment was fun; typography, fonts and the selection of such for any given project gives me a real geek stiffy. I've also included a content page. All of this was done in Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator:

...

EXPLAINED:

Here is another of the larger publications; it's obviously an Elvis themed bit of writing (check the poem on the content page; the girl is good). The Elvis image was found at a public domain, newspaper repository. I did the faux-halftone effect in Photoshop. Turned out nice. Burnt orange, in all it's variants, is my favorite color; I actually have to police myself or I'll use it in every project without even knowing it. Also included a content page below:

...

EXPLAINED:

This is a pretty straightforward bit of cover work. I was pressed for time and so had to let a dominant photo carry the mood/message of the cover. The image of the building is something I randomly shot in downtown Houston many years ago. I found it in my closet and thought it went nice with the mood of the poems and so used it. I totally love that photo. So stark and direlect. Also included is a content page showing a photo illustration for one of the poems. The photo was sent to me by a photography friend of mine who lives in Holland. She shot it specifically for this project. I fucking love collaborating:

EXPLAINED:

Finally, here's a logotype I did as something the publisher can begin using throughout it's published works and as a means of developing an readily identified brand. Following the first photo is an example of the various ways it has been  presented throughout the various books:

But for now, I'm fixing flats...

Perhaps some day I'll again be able to seek gainful employment doing something I love, perhaps not. 

The forces at work here, those that have been set against me over the past 14 years, at least in a temporal, corporeal regard ... are formidable (and no, local East Houston Law Enforcement Goons, I don't mean you, god bless you ... your just doing what nature made you to do .. and in a way, that's a really positive thing); but, this? This shit I'm dealing with? And you thinking that your dealing with me? This whole queer drama? It's something else entirely and it has it's beginnings in folk and forces way behind and above your own, admittedly, persistent stumbling. I mean no insult by that. It's simply true...

Persons with vast financial resources and equally expansive social influence have a pretty easy go of destroying a person's well being/opportunities should the desire take them. But, as I vaguely alluded to, above ... that influence and power is fleeting at best and so, in the long run, knowing what has real value, I will persist in my mundane, dangerous and horrifying daily labor. 

What I personally hold out for and why I've refused to prostrate myself at the feet of the various "offers" that have been made regarding a resolution to the circumstances outlined in jbhfile.com (and there have been offers) is something I know beyond any doubt, that I will take with me when I leave this heavy and sweaty and really, sort of cumbersome earthly living: principle, truth and justice. 

Compromising the idea of principle and truth for the sake of comfort, sex, monetary gain, a new car or job or anything else ... is simply not an option for me. I have no clue why this is. I had a fairly typical upbringing in a fairly typical middle class home. I attended public schools. I broke hearts and had my heart broke. I had sex by the age of 15. I got in to trouble and I redeemed myself, afterward. I made straight D's in High School. I made straight A's in college. Pretty normal as life courses go. But when faced with the prospect of accepting a bribe? And contrary to what 99.9% of my long standing and traditional so called friends would choose?

Shit ... I'll sling dirt and tires and labor till my body gives out before I'll compromise myself so grossly. And so, there it is...

The irony is that I'm surrounded by persons who embody the precise opposite of this idea; many of them are and have been informants to the ongoing, and so called, "investigation" of myself over the years; and many of them are folks who I once thought of as friends (and who I now know to be simple, and oh-so malleable tools).

As for the powers set against me? The so called "social leaders" and "political figures" who wield their influence and power so abusively? Theirs will not be a lasting influence. And I personally believe that that very same power will perish with the flesh of those who are currently waving it about like some fat brute with a stick. But that's just me waxing poetic and so who the fuck knows?

(Fuck me, man. I got a little goddamn metaphysical there at the end, huh? LMFAO ... oh well ... I do have a serious side, you know.)

Hope you've enjoyed the pornography.

Rock.

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------

jbh.

"You can't hold hands with God when your masturbating"

This is a bit of much needed entertainment while also being a quite serious bit of commentary on one sort of particularly whacked out group of folks who have been a part of the harassment operation against me over the years.

And this group I refer to above would be local religious whackos. The call themselves "christians" ... but I'll refer to the group, from here on out, as "Xtians" ... cause it's shorter, faster to type and I think the big X looks cool and is a literal "cross" metaphor of sorts. 

Sure, there's a very real (and also nasty/deranged) group of so called "psychological professionals" who have been active participants in the ongoing investigation against me ... and in many ways, these people are more horrifying than the Xtian religious whackos because at a certain level, these so called, "professionals" in the psychological community have very real authority over ones life should one ever find oneself in a court of law regarding one's supposed behavior. And reprimanding me to some such court setting is precisely what the more ambitious organizers of the investigation against me have tried very hard to make happen over the past 1.5 decades.

But this post is about christian whackos, of which there are many here in the lovely bible-thumping South. And I am wholly repelled by their psychosis. I think their mythology is pretty cool though ... some great stories and lessons in there ... but it's the folks who believe it as fact that are particularly treacherous ... and trust me, I've seen great evil done by the hand of such religious lunatics. Long story short? They embody a philosophy, whether spoken aloud/owned or not, that says: "Great evil/harm can be done if a greater good is served."  And what and how they come to believe as "greater good" is the scary part ... and it generally, in a most ironic fashion, has everything to do with buttressing their own selves and the religious systems they adhere to rather than being something truly necessary and good. A truly insane bunch.

Seems somewhere along the way, perhaps arising out of my father's social circles that have been involved as informants to the investigation over the years, perhaps for some other reason, this sort of "fundamentalist" ... glazed eyed Xtian psycho became movers in the operations against me.

I would guess it's because it's one of the most available very large groups of persons who could be easily persuaded in to organizing against a single other person who some "authority" such as the FBI or local police might quietly claim is a potential child molester, pedophile or other sort of sexual deviant ... cause if anything gets the psycho Xtian's worked up, it's sex. Not necessarily deviant sexual subjects such as predation, rape, pedophilia, incest or worse ... but just SEX, in and of itself,  freaks these people out (which is a shame cause they'd probably benefit from having more of it). It's also a very large group of persons, who once organized, also wield considerable local resources in regards to time, money and a willingness to spend their days harassing a person they have been made to believe needs "saving." Oh, shudder...

Anyway ... I'm going to write a whole lot more about this group of whack jobs in the near future, especially about one particular such whacko who has, literally, been stalking me for almost a decade and who, just this past Xmas sent me a fucking 8lb goddamn comparative study bible to my day job. 

Below, I talk a bit about what I'm ultimately going to do with the vile tomb ... consider it a little primer of sorts in regards to my upcoming, more fleshed-out (pun intended) comments. It's from a typically offensive and "meant to agitate" post that I made to my Facebook wall (which is about the only good use for Facebook if you ask me). It's a graphic, pardon if it's hard to read ... I thought posting it in visual context would add to the value of the thing (if such even exists) ...

Enjoy:

...

...

More later...

...

Oh yeah ... also .. here's a fun bit from Patton Oswalt that I love and which, though I am not an atheist, I still find quite accurate about the whole god forsaken organized religion thing (especially organized Xtian whackos):

...

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------

jbh.

Some dude trys to get me to mail him copyrighted material (even offering to PAY me for it) ... LOL ...

As mentioned in a very recent and previous post, I occasionally download MP3's from various online resources ... some times movies too. I mean, the sort you don't have to pay for. Read more about this statement, and in great detail (also, how it factors into the circumstances around jbhfile.com and why I have to publish such): Criminality and MP3/Movie downloads

As already written about, this is infrequent at best and is far out shadowed by my near daily purchase of the same sorts of media from Amazon, local brick and mortar shops and otherwise. But will, occasionally and on a whim, find something I'm interested in online, from torrent sites or any number of media-centric blogs, and just to check out and decide if I want to actually spend money on it.

But that's been written about and covered at length and is not the point of this particular post...


"Hey Man! Think if I mailed you a portable drive...?"

And that's pretty much the exact language this dude used. 

I'm talking about a guy who randomly private messaged me on Head-fi.org, a very popular audiophile oriented web forum devoted to the discussion of high end headphone based audio gear. A forum I am a very long standing and somewhat prominent member of; I have thousands upon thousands of posts there and have been a daily, contributing member for over seven years now. My user name is "s1rrah" (Harris backwards and with a numeral 1 for the "i")

So this guy private messages me...

He starts out with lots of lavish and flattering praise regarding certain hardware reviews I've written there, and one in particular ... a review done for MHDT Laboratories and their very excellent Stockholm Vacuum tube digital to analogue converter (DAC).

We begin talking about this bit of equipment (I'm going to post the entire text of the dialogue once I get around to completing this blog post); at some point, I mention that I have about a 20,000 file collection of MP3s/FLACs that are on constant rotation (most of which are ripped from my own CD's thank you very much) and it doesn't take him any time to say something to the effect of:

"Dude! You think if I mailed you a portable hard drive you could copy your entire collection over to it and mail it back to me!? I assure you, you will be well compensated for this!"

...

Now I must admit, at the time of the original discourse, I was rather inebriated (Saturday Dec. 28/2013) and really just considered him a fellow music loving freak like myself and I said sure, though no compensation was necessary as I'm not in the business of peddling music; but it's true that me and my local friends trade CD's, share records/files all the time...pretty standard procedure as it is among most music listening humans, and my first inclination was to simply consider this more of the same.

(the evening passes and Joel sobers up and begins to consider the night's previous dialogue)

Immediately all the flags and bells and whistles start waving, ringing and blowing. I re read our dialogue and I notice a couple interesting things:

1. The guy is overtly praising and flattering, as though (in a Psych 101 sort of way) attempting to "lubricate" my responses to upcoming  questions by somehow filling me with pride or narcissistic self love of some sort. Or otherwise, to somehow manipulate my affections for him via such silly praise. (er...thanks guy, but I know I'm a pretty decent writer already and I'm full of myself enough without the flattery)
   
2. Once I bring up having a pretty decently sized music collection, the guy immediately asks if he can mail me a portable drive and if I can mail it back.
   
3. On two separate occasions, the guy expressly mentions that he will "pay" me for this and that I will be well "compensated."

...

Suffice it to say, I politely messaged him back that same following day saying that I didn't' feel it would be a good idea based simply on conscience and that I'd hate to either one, lose my civil liberties for taking part in something so blatantly illegal as such a mailing and even worse, perhaps, lose my good standing with the Head-fi.org forum, where it is explicitly stated in the Terms of Service that:

...

"The Head-Fi Web Site, Head-Fi Forums and any other Head-Fi user participatory areas shall be used for lawful purposes only. No material shall be posted on or transmitted through the Head-Fi Web Site, Head-Fi Forums and any other Head-Fi user participatory areas, which violates or infringes in any way upon the rights of others, which is unlawful, threatening, abusive, defamatory, invasive of privacy or publicity rights, vulgar, obscene, profane, indecent or otherwise objectionable, which encourages conduct that would constitute a criminal offense, gives rise to civil liability or otherwise violates any law."

...

I am going to write more about this bit of correspondence but wanted to get something down on the blog as, at the very least, a statement of awareness and perhaps a placeholder for further writing as I'm certainly not in the habit of selling/peddling music to person's, friends or otherwise.

I think I made my friend Juan (an illegal immigrant who was just learning how to operate an MP3 player at the time) pay me 20 bucks to find him some AC/DC tracks once a good bit back; but that certainly wasn't me charging for the music as much as it was my time spent in trying to hunt it down for him (cause it's a pain in the fucking ass).  LOL ... but that's the only single thing I can think of in my entire life that could even remotely be viewed as such.


But it remains....

But it remains that I am very much aware that the persons behind the ongoing (and still non-officially-publicized "investigation" of myself are quite desperate to "get him!" (me) for something, anything and especially anything involving computers and/or the internet.

And this whole thing just reeked of a classic bait operation.  Subtle, caught me on New Years weekend when I was quite happy with my drink at home, but still and especially in retrospect, it reeks.

And so I've given the guy the word that I'm not cool with it (and he's already said that he might be through Houston soon, as he "has relatives" here and that we could get together and copy it that way) ... LOL ... that's not gonna happen either, friend.

;-)

(more on this later and as I have time to write)

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------

jbh.

Facebook, Females and Phone Numbers

I've been a member of Facebook for a few years now. 

It's fun to play around on and sort of stupid/inane at the same time ... but still a fun place to emote, be nonsensical and also, very much, try to offend folks (I love pissing off the Xtian people by posting all sorts of offensive and super blasphemous stuff about jesus; they are such an insecure lot as special interest groups go that I just can' help but fuck with them). 

Many of my family friends are currently active on that social site, also other folks who I don't really know in "real life" but who, nonetheless, have made themselves known to me via my existing relationships with other family members and traditional, long term friends.

(and BTW .. since a large part of my involvement with Facebook and other social media sites is to further propagate information regarding JBHFile.com and the circumstances therein, a large part of my Facebook page is kept public. Photos, notes, etc. are all public. So if your curious about the freak who authors this blog and JBHFile.com related information in general, then feel free to visit my stupid ass Facebook page: Joel's page on Facebook )

This post is sort of pre emptory as it's been known to me for some time, and against all logic or past indications of the same, that the whackos running the investigation against me have pined longingly over the years to some how cast me in a light that seems to indicate aberrations of behavior in regards to my relationships (real or imagined) with women.

Think classic and inane psychological profiles: an obsessive stalker, repressed sexually and prone to act out inappropriately towards objects of affection, showing uninvited and/or unwanted instances of attraction towards females who are obviously not appropriate (married women, much younger women, etc.). And always, these sorts of supposed aberrations of behavior would meet some pre requisite that also would need to cast me in a light that could be called exceptionally worrisome or potentially "escalating."

It's really the most basic of TV sitcom psych-thriller tripe that the idiots running the investigation have attempted to align me with and I've written about such many times over the years, but of late, recent rumblings have prompted me to revisit.


Here's my Address and Social (and phone number)

The following isn't the real point of this brief post but it is a good introduction to why this post is necessary...

A long time ago, at my day job, where I have it on countless and dependable authorities that friends of my father (many in law enforcement) have acted as ongoing and persistent informants/operatives in the investigation against me, ... a certain very attractive young hispanic lady either feigned or had an actual phone conversation wherein she quite loudly proclaimed her physical address, phone number and social security number (you can read about this long past incident, here). 

At that time, it raised my eye brows because of the previous mentioned points above, the truly psychotic wishlist of the investigators to force me in to some criminal slot of being potentially dangerous towards women (which is pretty hilarious considering my somewhat lengthy and really awesome past history of relationships over the past 30+ years) ... but also, because the time and place that the young woman so loudly voiced these facts was just completely unusual: in a security guard office, with she and I the only persons inside, and me sitting only a few feet from her. 

It just didn't add up and knowing what I know about the simpletons running the investigation and especially their simple goals involving myself ... I decided to write about it.


Facebook and Phone Numbers

And so ... similarly but not nearly as dramatic, another such instance has occurred recently and specifically in regards to my activity on Facebook...

I'll be brief because one, this entire post is simply based on personal internal musings and not so much anything I know factually and two, because it's old and tired subject matter and it bores me to write about it (although, it's nonetheless important to do so).

A certain friend of my sisters, on Facebook ... who happens to also be an extremely attractive hispanic female, who I only know via Facebook (and my sister's real world relationship with her), recently ... and strangely, publicly listed her phone number on Facebook. 

I found this strange, immediately ... not so much due to jbhfile.com or myself .. but simply because really hot, 20 something female models (she's a model, btw) simply aren't in the habit of publicizing their phone numbers or otherwise personal information on public social forums ... I mean, unless they are just stupid as fuck and this young woman, I assure you is not stupid in the least.

Actually, she seems to be a rather intelligent chick. 

Like I said, she's what most guys would consider painfully gorgeous, a model (think erotica/pin up) and also, she happens to be a pretty good friend of my sister. My sister, as well, has acted in a professional regard as this woman's make up artist and hair stylist, being involved in more than a few professional shoots and also, casually over the years.

Personally, I would very much like to link to some of their jointly produced work here in this blog post because it's really nice work and as young women, I am really proud of what both of them have managed to accomplish in that profession (modeling/photography/makeup/hair/etc.) but I certainly won't link to such as I'd rather not directly involve their efforts with my circumstances around jbhfile.com and I as well do not like referencing persons by name here or on jbhfile.com as it's simply proper public etiquette to not do so.

That said, recently this chick who I don't really know just randomly posted her phone number to Facebook with something to the effect of "feel free to text me," or the like. Which, to my mind and especially knowing what I know of the investigators ... throws a few internal checks...

And really, just to avoid regurgitating old ideas ... it's the same as it's ever been...

Cel phones are easily manipulated. Any number of methods could be used to send ellicit and/or inappropriate texts or even images to this young woman's phone and at the same time link it to my own personal number. Crazy sounding but true and it's easily done using wireless technology.

Although I'm not in the habit of sending questionable (or any) content to women of any age, it's nonetheless important to state these things here and publicly on the very slim chance that said information (this woman's phone number) might some day be used against me.

Further, and although I don't send pictures of myself to other persons ... I have, on many occasions used my cel phone to take images of myself. I am, after all, about two years in to a rather intense physical training regimen and taking bathroom shots is occasionally par for the course in regards to noting monthly progress and the like. I've done this and will do this going forward. And this is stated as those photos could easily be intercepted by others (I've emailed them to myself for purposes of editing in photoshop) via various methods ... and too, about a year ago, a cel phone of mine was stolen and some of such regular content could have existed on that particular phone.

It's a shame that I must go through an otherwise normal social landscape, having to consider these foul possibilities, but in the end, it is very true that I must.


Regarding phones and texts (and images) 

I've actually only used a cel phone for the past few years or so. Prior to the past few years, I felt the circumstances around jbhfile.com to be far to volatile and un predictable to even own a phone. But, over the past few years I've felt comfortable enough to own one and have even come to enjoy using it (a Samsung Note) as the alarm clock app is fucking awesome and it works great as a mobile hot spot. Otherwise, and just frankly, I hardly speak on it or text on it at all (other than for work). As an illustration, I have a 500 minute a month voice plan and typically use only about 15 minutes of that or less every month. Fucking funny; my rollover minutes are way up in the thousands upon thousands.

And I certainly don't have any regular conversations with chicks ... another unfortunate by product of being the subject of a politically driven smear campaign but one which I'm not too bothered by because hey, I've certainly had more than my share of fun over the years and prior to all this idiot-driven haranguing; and, as mentioned in the past, sex just isn't a priority ... (and there's always Femjoy, should I feel the need for such plain, gratuitous, enjoyments and I'm perfectly capable of delivering them myself).

So to the woman who is mentioned in this past post, if you happen to ever read this ... sorry to have to discuss you in this light. I know I didn't mention a name but should you read this, I hope you understand that though strange seeming, in my situation, such public musings are highly important. Otherwise? Keep making killer stuff...your awesome!


And just speaking of phones and "sexting" 

Of late I've personally been the recipient of certain phone transmissions sent from women and to myself, that could be said to be VERY sexually explicit (and honestly, a little creepy in so far as my own standards are concerned, although most other guys would find it rather welcome and have actually told me they can't believe I haven't "gotten with that!" already, etc.).

The particular texts/images that were sent to me were not invited by myself ... but were just sent randomly as the woman in particular, an old friend of mine who has always been fond of me, is vocally unhappy in her marriage and has been making quite obvious advances on me as (I suppose) a possible suitor, once her divorce is done.

This particular woman has actually sent me rather pornographic content ... videos and photos depicting herself in all manner of sexual activity from straight up dildo masturbation videos to a variety of random and sexually explicit photos of herself. As mentioned, I'm a bit repelled by this in regards to actually considering a relationship with such a person ... although, just plainly speaking and sexually, it's certainly not lost on me. But in so far as considering a real relationship (which I'm generally and most historically interested in)? Not so much...

Of course, I have never returned such sexually explicit shots of myself...though she's hinted at that...but even in my more drunken moments of revelry on the weekends, when our exchanges have generally taken place, I still was not inclined to even ponder such (creep city!). 

I was really taken aback by all of it (the photos/videos, etc.) that she sent; and I suppose I might just be a tad naive regarding such things and that it might simply be a rather common occurrence among folks our age and of our mutual experience. She seemed rather amazed when I told her I'd never "sexted" or sent images of myself to a woman ... or that I hadn't "role played" or you name the other strange sort of sexual protocols that, apparently, some folks take part in and that I've only really heard about through books or movies. LOL ... maybe it's just stuff that people who have been married for nearly two decades find themselves seeking out ... I don't know, to "keep things interesting" or whatever ... but still, I've never exchanged racy photos or "role played" ... or a couple other things she mentioned (what the fuck is role playing, anyway?! "You be the cowboy and I'll be the librarian?" Or fucking what!? Seriously, me and my chicks have always just fucked like crazy and never really had to work to keep things interesting but that's another blog post...)

Anyway, I've made it clear to her on a number of occasions that I'd appreciate her refraining from such in the future as she's married and it just sort of creeps me out and I also can't help but put myself in her husband's shoes (being a dude myself and all).

But in the light of the basic subject of this post, I thought it might be beneficial to speak briefly about this weird correspondence.

For the record, she hasn't sent me any more pornographic material ...


Otherwise?

Otherwise things are pretty peachy here in Houston, Texas. I've been working daily and also making fairly significant strides in my personal training (running/weight training). I really don't do much else (not counting movies and video games) and this is as it should be.

Oh yeah, my recently created and related daily journal blog is chugging along as you might expect, on quite the daily basis. ;-) ... I've about seven months worth of daily entries now and it's just freaky and boring as hell to go back and read the daily posts.

I always dreamed of living a simple, quiet life and other than the non-verbal haranguing I have to deal with daily and nightly around jbhfile.com and the idiots involved in such, other than having to author occasional and repetitive/redundant blog posts like this one, by all accounts and according to the past seven months chronicled in my JBHFile.com/DAYs blog, I have soundly achieved it.

I am proud to say though, that in seven months, I have had at least two or three actual and physical social engagements with persons other than those that I work or live with ... which, though not that important to me, is sort of a relief to see when considering a seven month period of time.

It's intriguing as hell as, in the first significant portion of my social existence this go round and in this life, up until about age 34 (when the jbhfile.com shit hit the fan) .. I was HUGELY social, in coffee houses and bars daily, out nightly with friends at shows or their/our respective houses and in fact, some sort of random, physical/social engagement was generally a daily occurrence. I called several people every day just to say, "Hey, what are you doing" and they would call me too. There were always social plans, always something "coming up" ... always a new place to be and people to be around.

And so I find it kind of cool to be so comfortable now, after 13 years of constant physical (and otherwise) assaults on my person ... calm in fact and quite naturally happy really, with just my own company for the most part. And it's downright queer (not unpleasantly so) to note that in nearly 7 months, I've only had perhaps three actual social engagements with persons outside of those I work with or live with (all surfing related). Just queer as fuck, really ... and again, sort of neat. 

And if anything, keeping track of my days over the past seven months has very much allowed me a window into this novel change in my adult life  and it's also a good thing to have on record should the idiots running the investigation try once again to place me somewhere that I was not, or should they attempt to force a claim that I was doing something I did not or even should they attempt to say I made phone calls or sent texts that I never made or sent ... it's just a good thing ... so if your bored and want to read the daily life of a guy who does just about the very same thing, every single day of any given year, then CHECK IT OUT HERE!!.

;-)

Anyway, more weird later ...


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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------

jbh.

Criminality and MP3/Movie downloads

A couple posts back I made a rather forward statement that many of the actions of the investigators and directed towards me have been and are what I would call criminal. And, in most cases, violently criminal. It's funny as that particular post has, in just the few days it's been published, rocketed way past any other post ever published on this blog in regards to page views. Which tells me that that the investigators are not only notoriously egotistical, but they are also, apparently, a bit sensitive.

But regarding that post and my comment of criminality...

To covertly dose a supposed investigation subject with PCP so you can then corral that person in to a living circumstance more conducive to the peculiar desires of the investigators is not only hugely violent but also, violently criminal.

To covertly drug a supposed investigation subject with some sort of "date rape" type drug slipped into his drink at a bar, so that person will behave in a less than lucid or even downright psychotic way in public, specifically so that person can then be corralled into a circumstance more conducive to the peculiar desires of the investigators is not only violent but also, violently criminal.

These sorts of very literal and violent assaults have been perpetrated upon my person on countless occasions, some occasions for which I've gained proof, most of which, I have not.


The extent of my own criminality

As mentioned countless times, the investigators have stretched  this ongoing charade out over a period of going on 13 years now. All the while making public claims that I partake in a laundry list of pretty severe, criminal behaviors, among them being: production of child pornography, viewing of child pornography, stalking underage women, that I'm possibly a molestee in danger of becoming a molester himself, a home invader, a stalker of ex girlfriends with certain indications of possibly becoming violent in the future, a rampant user of pharmaceutical drugs, a known and regular marijuana user, a notorious hacker and lastly, a person prone to severe bouts of memory loss wherein  many of the above listed criminal activities might have taken place.

Really, it's quite outlandish the extent to which supposed "law enforcement" folk have gone in regards to falsely and forcibly defaming my name throughout just about all of my Houston social strata.

But the fact remains, the investigators are in a pickle as none of the above are true and yet they've spent 13 years, very effectively seeding entire communities and social strata with the notion that I am, indeed, partaking in such activities. And short of succeeding in some fictitious, criminal set up of myself (wrongful incrimination) around some or, any really, of the above? The only recourse, if they don't force any of the above circumstances on me, is for them to look really silly in the eyes of the communities that they have worked so hard to brain wash regarding my supposed proclivities.

Of course, the bottom line is that if any of that were true, they could have easily "moved" on me many years ago. I mean, I'd have to be some kind of genius criminal mastermind (think Lex Luthor) to be doing any of the above consistently enough to garner the attention of law enforcement and still not be able to be "brought in on charges" or even, suspicion. It's actually quite ridiculous.

The point here is to state publicly that I lead a rather crime free life as a citizen of Houston, Texas and here in the United States ... other than the very infrequent downloading of free MP3 music and/or the occasional MKV movie.


Occasional MP3 and movie downloading

I've mentioned in several past blog posts that I will occasionally download MP3 music files and/or a movie here and there and without paying for them. This is a rather common practice among internet users, nearly rampantly so, and compared to most of such users ... my activity in and around such things would be seen as minuscule at the very least (ie it happens, at most, infrequently).

I also spend a great deal of money purchasing the same sort of digital media; in many cases, the only reason I eventually purchased such content was the fact that I had first freely previewed it via some online resource or other. In fact, I and many others online consider it a great boon to be able to check out certain music or movies and decide if it's something I like or not and use this as a basis for ultimately purchasing (many artists, including this writer, believe this to be a positive thing too).

It's true, I do this...not frequently but occasionally...once or twice every two months or so...and technically, legally, this could very much be defined as criminal. Violently criminal? No. Life threatening in the criminal way that covertly drugging a citizen with potentially lethal substances can be defined as such? Not even close. I would say MP3 downloading, comparatively speaking, is more akin to jay walking or pulling through the parking lot of a convenience store to get around a particularly traffic clogged intersection and the like (fairly non consequential but still, technically, criminal); while the covert drugging of a sovereign citizen with potentially lethal substances could possibly be defined as attempted murder or willful bodily injury or even attempted manslaughter.

But regarding the fact that I will occasionally download free MP3's or an .MKV encoded movie? I don't have a problem publiclyl admitting that and having said it, I'll continue to enjoy this unique benefit of online activity.


Just get him for *SOMETHING*

But for the investigators, as they grow more and more desperate ... as they become more and more "reactionary" and vindictive, angered at the fact that I'm pretty much just a normal  Joe(l) going about his day to day life under some pretty extensive and ongoing outwardly induced duress, it's certainly not beyond the scope of their insanity to attempt to use such trivial activities against me. I mean, somehow attempt to confront me around such activities as MP3 and/or movie downloading.

I in fact have it on direct communication from certain of the past "numbered informants" to the investigation that I remain in contact with that this is something that is very much on the list of possibilities (or at least compounding matters once some more worrisome and falsely contrived series of circumstances were created by the investigators).

These mentioned contacts, persons who in the past acted as numbered informants to the investigation and who have long since bowed out for reasons of conscience are the very same persons who alerted me a few months back that the investigators wanted to stage a contrived burglary of my home for the sole reason of removing my access to my computers and music equipment.

But suffice it to say, barring some more serious and supposed infraction on my part that would be used to introduce me to conversations around such (MP3 downloading), I can't see how this would transpire as, like I said, the practice is about as common in regards to online activity as is, say, drinking milk on a daily basis.


Six Strikes

Internet service providers, in fact, monitor for such activity and will alert a user as to the illegality of said actions should those actions be detected by the provider.

In fact, there is now a rule in place stating that such service providers will actually warn a user of such infractions up to six times before ever taking any other action such as limiting said user's access to the internet or even contacting law enforcement authorities.

This measure, the Six Strikes Rule, should be indicative enough of how prevalent such online activity is as it's a fairly generous policy if you ask me and personally, I think it's appropriate.

I mean, you don't see any "Six Strikes" policy in regards to physical assaults (like covertly drugging someone) ... and you certainly don't see any "Six Strikes" rules around manslaughter cases or willful bodily injury cases (like using potentially lethal drugs in covert druggings of some person) and thank god for that cause who wants to give violent offenders six free tries to cease their obvious and compulsively harmful actions against their fellow citizen? Not I for certain, not I.

Like I said, I think the six strikes policy is a good one and very much so commensurate to the crime; to go locking up the random internet user, for downloading a record from Pirate Bay would just be insane.

But to warn such a user, up to six times even, is sort of commensurate to the deed (giving the rampant criminal downloader plenty of opportunity to cease and desist, if you ask me).

Myself?

I've never received any warnings of transgressions. Like I said, my actions regarding the downloading of such media are minuscule at best when compared with most users who partake in such and so I'm sure such use never even raises any flags on the service providers side.

But that's the general scenario ... the service provider is the entity that generally polices such activities as compulsive downloading of copyrighted material and if things get frequent enough, they will either contact the user with up to six warnings (per infraction) and then, barring the fact that the warnings had no effect, might in fact contact law enforcement.


But law enforcement entities themselves?

They just don't make a habit of policing a user's internet usage in regards to such things; they would in fact, need a search warrant of sorts to even do this. And so, if such activities as occasional downloading of copyrighted music or movies ever did arise via communications between myself and law enforcement? Then it would most certainly indicate that they were first, policing my internet usage for far different and I'm sure, quite more nefarious reasons.

And as stated below, if such is the case ... and as I've been attempting to do for 13 years now, I'd very much like to know what those reasons for surveillance are and address them personally if at all possible.


Music and Movies

All of the above said, I am quite proud to reiterate that I am a very frequent purchaser of digital media such as musical records and movies.

I have an extensive DVD collection, hundreds of CDs/records and am a daily user of Netflix, Aereo and Amazon's streaming movie service. Just last month alone, I purchased at least six movies via Amazon streaming (an incredibly affordable and effective resource, BTW). And, every month, I am purchasing more and more hard copy DVD's and musical CD's.

Just check my internet log files!

That was a joke as you really shouldn't have access to my internet log files, I mean, unless you have a warrant, in which case I'd be very interested in finding out and addressing why it was ever issued in the first place ... but I did just remind myself of an upcoming future post here at jbhfile.blogspot...

In the near future, just because I really have nothing to hide regarding internet usage, be it reading CNN, working on my various websites/concerns, reading overclock.net or head-fi.org or even the occasional MP3 download or Saturday night porn viewing (I'm a big FemJoy fan, BTW super hot erotica) ... I will be finding some way to script a copy of my internet log files to a publicly available folder on the jbhfile.com FTP server ... just so anyone and everyone, especially law enforcement, will have an even easier way to surveil til their heart's content.

And besides, that's a bit challenging and I'd find it fun in a technical sense, to make it happen.

Till next time, kiddies.

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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------

jbh.

Feels like stealing

More on the writing front...

As I slowly fill content in to my newly created writing blog, I occasionally come across older bits of work written very early on in my awareness of being under investigation (and especially when I was experiencing some of the more violent assaults on my person that were/are related to the ongoing investigation discussed in www.jbhfile.com).

This is one particular bit that I just recently dug up, written around 2002 or so, when I had not made much way at all into developing the coping  mechanisms that would ultimately, and over the years, mature into some fairly respectable and necessary internal skills which, in a very literal sense, have saved my life and mind over the years.

I found it interesting to read; looking back on things like the following is both startling and heartening to me as it makes immediately clear where I was and of how far I've come...and that I must continue.

Enjoy, if such a thing is possible...


....


Feels like stealing
by Joel Harris

To stand here
with the sun on my face,
if but for this second,
to feel good,
momentarily even
(but a second!)
is like running off
with what is not mine,
a snatching by one
not deserving;
to stand here
with the sun on my face
feels like stealing.

And yet I know that I am true.

Through the grossness
of it all, the heaving and
covert paralysis of the thing,
I am true and I have been.

So if any pair of lips
should be afraid, or when lips
refuse the honest line,
when honesty is simple archetype–
a handy shell,
a husk to wrap around a time;
then my friend
you will know what
has set upon you.
You will know that it will be
their turn then
to go and stare
into the calm lake,
to think for some time
on treachery, malevolence and bile–
and for them, to know
the forthright and the forward,
the direct line and
what it shamelessly
and always guarantees.

[end]



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this post is intended to be supplemental to the facts made public in my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already made yourself aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed in that site. please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction into why this blog exists. or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. and, enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------

jbh.