After days of deliberation and preparing, and after receiving confirmation from HPD/MHD that all data associated with the 12/11/23 Mental Health Check was indeed officially approved to be delivered to me, today I decided to calmly inform my father of the certified Cease and Desist letter.
Here is a link to said letter which I've posted before:
Cease and Desist Letter / sent via certified mail on 09/07/24
Dad's reaction is telling and expectedly violent...
His reaction was precisely as expected: an immediate (startingly so) devolution into rage and a 100% inability to have a reasonable discussion; again, please listen to the dialogue linked below at YT (unlisted video BTW).
Everything is in the recording...
Just a quick listen to my desperate, calm attempt to invite DAD to dialogue, immediately, like a switch was thrown, Dad turns into an unrecognizable, rage-dominated, hazardous, and irrrational "thing."
When he transforms, it's literally like watching my grandfather go through Alzheimer's episodes (which tragically my grandpa died from) where the person just instantaneously transforms from one amicable, approachable person to a completely different person, suddenly threatening violence, screaming, and a pervasive inability to have a normal conversation.
It's genuinely scary to see as it happens so instantaneously and is always punctuated by an escalation towards violence. And it's not an unfair estimate that these sorts of exchanges happen every single day. I'm helpless to even have a conversation with the man.
Throughout our exchange today, he was constantly, threateningly getting right up in my face as he screamed more and more psychotically. Considering the episodes of physical abuse over the past few years, by him and on myself, I hold a real fear that at a certain point, this sort of totally uncontrolled emotional transformation could end in him doing greater violence to me (or others) at some point in the future and as his cognitive "episodes" (another blog) obviously continue to escalate.
So when, in the recording which was taking place in the kitchen, as I intended to get water before retiring to my office, he just started straight up telling me to leave and get out of his sight, screaming it even (see recording) all the while getting angrier when I calmly said to him that I'm in a public space in our home and I might want to get some water momentarily so, "No." I tell him I'm not going to "GO TO YOUR ROOM!" as he loves to say. (Like it's 1975 or something and I'm suddenly 12 years old again! Really unsettling to witness).
[CONTENT HERE REMOVED AS I DEEMED UNHELPFUL EDIT: 09/18/24]
But THE REAL POINT IS:
I'm currently residing with that same man whose fundamental nature and actions to certain events that might "trigger" him ... is the same exact personality he held back then when, for instance, he quite literally "caned" me with a 10-foot fiberglass CB antenna when I was 12 cause he found out I had tried smoking weed.
This was the time that the countless, extreme lacerations on the backs of my thighs became kind of hard to miss when in the 6th grade and having to wear those awful short as fuck gym shorts LOL. Needless to say, I had to get creative in making up lies to explain the wounds. And so that is what I did...
The person who can so easily trigger to the point that he systematically "flays" a 12-year-old with a fiberglass antenna simply cause he's angered by his kid having experimented with weed is still in there and probably much worse; I live and work with that very same mind, those very same tendencies daily.
My DAD has never addressed that tendency toward rage/violence, never been called out on it, and never once thought to consider why such an obviously broken personality was even formed in him, considering the utterly loving and brilliant nature of his parents? It confuses me to think on, for sure...
FWIW: I was the only member of my siblings to ever experience that sort of extreme violence at the hands of the man; none of my three siblings EVER experienced anything remotely like that, and the fiberglass antenna caning is only one example among many during that time. Chalk it up to being "the black sheep of the family" during out childhood years, I dunno ... but just psych 101 (most) will also tell you that, "once the black sheep? Always the black sheep." And I've found this to be true..
So THIS is why I bring up those age-old, well-dealt-with, well accepted childhood events. I'm living with the same guy, with the same tendencies, the exact essential nature, and he's never developed emotionally past that basic and abusive tendency towards violence. Same guy. Probably worse now...
I recorded the exchange of course.
One, simply for the record, but most importantly to demonstrate my endless months/years trying to calmly discuss fundamental, legal facts and truths around mental illness that he simply 100% shuts down and refuses to discuss (100%. Every time I approach dialogue around the subject).
Any time I attempt to interject some calm, reasonable comment, it never even makes it out of my mouth. He begins screaming over me, not allowing me to express even the most basic of fundamental ideas, much less a sentence of more than a couple words.
This is highly evident in the recording captured above, and it's a daily thing; this is not an isolated event.
And this is just a mild one with no physical slapping and/or hitting me as has occurred in the past few years (he once threw me in the bathtub and scalded me with hot water, believe it or not, again, at 3am, just barging into my room, turning over my equipment, chairs, emptying the contents of my trash can all over my office floor and then taking a picture as though that mess he just willfully created had anything to do with my previously immaculate workspace (wtf?).
There are countless other things people just don't know about the volatile, increasingly dangerous behaviors of the REAL man, the one who only reveals himself once he is assured (or assumes) a private environment.
"I'M CALLING THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!!"
This is also a very essential point to make as, at the high end of his psychotic break today, as always, with me simply delivering a certified letter, he flies off into another level of rage, screaming, "WHERE'S MY PHONE! I'M GETTING THE POLICE OUT HERE RIGHT NOW AND WE'LL DEAL WITH THIS!!" Which, again, is clinical insanity and a more frightening example of just how uninformed (hence, dangerous) he is as well as a solid indication of pretty glaring cognitive impairment.
The critical fact here is that had he stupidly requested police presence this afternoon because he was angry that I served him a formal, legal demand, it would have indeed been deemed a "false 911 report" as there was no crisis or emergency. Had he done so, he would have likely been charged with that misdemeanor crime but likely not arrested.
The point is that (IMO) he really needs to be informed about law, litigation, civil rules of procedure, culture, and the basics of reason/logic or even simple, rational thought, not that I'm some sort of expert on those fundamental principles, but I certainly live according to them.
I stretch the "law" part a bit. I must, on principle, admit to downloading MP3s or games to demo before purchasing (not frequently, but still a fact). As with any of us, I rationalize these "infractions" (and it's true) by claiming, "But, if it's content I find worthwhile? Then I always immediately buy." And I do...
But in him? It's just not there. I'm pretty sure it's never been there. How that can be is beyond me, as I lead with reason and rational thought, especially compassion and a general tack towards ecumenical solutions in any dialogue I have with any other human, especially if it's a matter of conflict resolution.
Oh, the irony...
But yeah, see the recording; that's how quickly it goes south and how quickly he just thinks he can call the police for any random reason whatsoever, which he can't and which carries consequences if deemed frivolous or unwarranted.
Ugly stuff. But I will persist...
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This post supplements the facts made public on my main website, http://www.jbhfile.com/; it probably will not make much sense to you if you have not already become aware of the legal and personal efforts discussed there. Please see http://www.jbhfile.com/ for a necessary introduction to why this blog exists. Or, if you just like reading weird stuff, then don't. And, enjoy.
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jbh.
